Be encouraged. You are not alone.
Christian singles are one of the fastest growing demographics in the Church yet we still feel overlooked. Droves of us are finding ourselves unmarried for far longer than we ever thought we would be yet there’s still this underlying assumption that Real Life doesn’t actually begin until we get married.
To add to the problem, the Church doesn’t have the greatest track record of helping singles to thrive in the season we’re in. Many Christian singles simply feel like they don’t fit into the one place that’s supposed to welcome everyone.
So let’s talk about it.
And no, we don’t mean, “Let’s complain about it.” We don’t want to be known as complainers. Goodness knows the internet has its fill of noise and complaining. We love the Church. It is the Bride of Christ, and as flawed as we all are, we want to be careful to build it up and not tear it down. We want to use our words to affect change wherever we are planted at this moment.
Talking it out with other people who have similar yet different life experiences is a good starting point, we think.
Let’s talk about how hard it is to walk into the doors of a church when you’re all by yourself with no wingman. Let’s talk about how you get up the nerve to walk into that church only to find there really isn’t a place for you because so much of Church culture is marriage- and family-centric. Let’s talk with ministers, lay people, and singles to find ways to help churches better include their single members.
But let’s be fair in the conversation: Let’s also talk about how singles can better commit—to the local church, to a small group, to serving, to tithing. Let’s talk about what it means to LOVE the Church and about the role singles themselves can take in helping to improve the way the local church ministers to other singles.
Beyond the Church, let’s talk about how we deal with our finances when no one is holding us accountable. Let’s talk about how we have healthy relationships, whether it’s dating or with our parents or our friends. Let’s talk about how to be a City on a Hill in our workplaces when we don’t even know what we want to do with the rest of our lives. Let’s talk about what adventure and risk look like when we don’t have a spouse’s income to fall back on. Let’s talk about living with balance, intention, and margin when we’re the only one who can get things done.
Let’s talk about what it’s like to admit that we’ve never been kissed or in a relationship. Let’s talk about how we can learn from past relationships and not make the same mistakes. Let’s talk about the somewhat dissolving stigma associated with online dating and how we can best approach it when we’re Christian. Let’s talk about marriage—how we deeply desire it yet we know we can’t wish our days away until we find a spouse.
Let’s talk about what it looks like to trust God with every aspect of who we are and to know that if marriage never happens for us, He is still good and the void of marriage in our lives is for our good.
Let’s talk about all of it—every nook and cranny of what it’s like to be Christian and single. Not because we have solutions for all of these areas but because there’s much to learn in community when each of us bring our own experiences and wisdom to the table. We need you to add your voice to the conversation, too.
There’s no organization or denomination behind SingleRoots, which is why sometimes you might find you don’t necessarily agree with everything that’s written. And we think that’s okay. Iron sharpening iron, avoiding Group Think, and all that stuff…
