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But I Don’t Even Know What I Want

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God doesn’t ask us to have it all together; He asks us to follow Him.

Twice in my life, I’ve been in one of those situations where someone has laid hands on and prophesied over me. If that freaks you out, I’m sorry. It scared me, too. Not because I don’t really believe in it, but because it’s frightening to hear complete strangers speaking into situations they can’t possibly understand.

I just dug out my most recent prophecy and found that it’s even scarier now than it was then. Which is pretty freaky because I clearly remember wanting to turn around and flee the room when this woman started boldly proclaiming the words she felt God was saying to her.

“Ask of Me what you want and I’ll give it to you,” says the Lord.

Maybe you don’t see the horror of that statement. Maybe you, like my friends who were with me, would like to buy that prophecy from me (which I don’t think is possible, by the way, but if you wanted to give it a try, just email me your credit card information).

But those words (especially following the guilt trip of, “you can run after Me as hard as you want”) seemed like a dangerous gift to a girl who had recently come to the realization that she didn’t know what she wanted—which was the point I think God was trying to drive home on the night of that terrifying prophecy.

Because three years later, I still don’t have a clue what I want. But the thing I know with most certainty is this:

If God were to give me everything I thought I wanted, my life would be screwed up one thousand times over by now.

So what I actually heard as that woman formed the words, “Ask of Me what you want…” was “Rebekah, I know what I’m doing. I have a plan for your life that is so much greater than anything you could ever ask or imagine. Will you trust me to do the best thing?”

My generation has a trust issue. Scratch that. All of humanity has a trust issue. Somehow we’ve bought into the lie that if we want something done right, we have to do it ourselves. We’re a “me-centered” culture that is in need of a serious wake-up call. Because, if you haven’t realized it already, one day you’re going to find that you don’t actually know what you want. It’s okay to admit it. Go on now. Repeat after me:

“I don’t know what I want.”

Don’t you feel better already? Well, I have some more freeing news for you: You don’t have to know. Honestly. God doesn’t ask us to have it all together; He asks us to follow Him.

“Hey, God, where are we going?”

“I know the way.”

“I’m feeling a little lost right about now.”

“I know exactly where we are.”

“But about that life I thought I would live…”

“I’ve got something better planned.”

“Oh. So… we’re good then? I mean, you’ve really got this all figured out?”

“Trust Me.”

“God, how can I trust You to give me what I want when I don’t even know what I want?”

“…”

Yeah, that question didn’t even deserve an answer. Because that’s where my terrifying prophecy becomes a beautiful promise.

I may not fully know what I want, but God does.

And more importantly, He knows what I need.

 

 

 

Rebekah Snyder has spent the last three years putting one foot in front of the other. Once upon a time, someone told her that God was going to use her in ways she never even thought of… They were right. That little piece of prophecy is something Rebekah likes to call Beyond Waiting – both the book and the blog. She knows from experience that God does answer the “want” prayers… which is why she’s extra cautious with her prayers for a future husband. You can read more of Rebekah’s journey at www.beyondwaiting.com.

 

*Photo credit: Ian Sane

Filed Under: Spiritual Growth, Desires and Longings, Spiritual Growth Tagged With: dreams, needs, prophecy, trust, wants

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If you are interesting in sharing your thoughts on SingleRoots, please email us at contact@singleroots.com. You can see a list of contributing writers' posts by clicking on the link above.

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