eHarmony Review 2014 :: Christian Singles Tell It Like It Is

eHarmony ReviewOur eHarmony Review Bottom Line:

  • GOOD: The oldest and largest online dating site
  • BAD: You have less control on eHarmony than you do on other sites
  • TAKEAWAY: We think you’re more likely to find like-minded Christian matches on eHarmony than on any other online dating site.

Before we started this whole Best Christian Dating Sites review process, we would’ve bet that more Christians have tried eHarmony than any of the other sites. So we decided to do an eHarmony review first. Because, well, the members of the SingleRoots team have tried it, and a lot of our friends have, too.

In fact, when most (married) people pat us on the arm and ask us if we’ve tried online dating, they don’t even use the term “online dating.” They say, “Have you thought about getting on eHarmony?”

It’s the go-to site.

eHarmony Review

And our initial research indicated that of the people we interviewed, more of them had tried eHarmony than any other Christian dating site. While people might dislike it, we’ve found it seems to be a site that more of us are comfortable with—flaws and all.

Maybe it’s the fact that our profiles aren’t thrown into a sea of other profiles where everyone and their brother or sister has access to it. Or, maybe it’s the fact that it was founded by Dr. Neil Clark Warren, a man who’s supposedly on “our” team, and we trust “our” people, even if their company isn’t explicitly “Christian.” (Christians jump on Christian bandwagons? Noooo. Never.) Then again, it could just be that it’s one of the industry leaders and one of the first to market itself to Christians. For whatever reason, we don’t think it’s too much of an overgeneralization to say that a lot of Christians try eHarmony first.

But none of those reasons are why it scored so well in our rating of the Best Christian Dating Sites. Since it did score so highly, though, we thought we’d do an eHarmony review as our first individual one.

eHarmony Review :: Pros

  • The site is easy to use. It has a modern, clean feel to it, and it doesn’t take a college degree in computers to figure out how to navigate it. There aren’t a lot of extra bells and whistles to eHarmony that you find on other sites. While some may see this as a “con,” when compared with how confusing those others’ bells and whistles are, we see it as refreshing.
  • Finding like-minded Christians on other sites can be like finding a needle in a haystack sometimes. Depending on the site, you might have to read a lot of text on a lot of profiles to decide if someone calls him/herself a “Christian” in name only or if he/she loves the Lord wholeheartedly and lives to serve Him. While eHarmony is not perfect, there’s something to be said for their 29 Dimensions of Compatibility testing (as lengthy as it may be). That, combined with stricter setting options for choosing how important commonalities in faith are with your matches, help give eHarmony a slight edge in this department.
  • Another pro is the very thing we mentioned above: the sheer number of people on the site. It’s one of the biggest—if not the biggest—and chances are, you’re not going to run out of matches anytime soon with as many new members as they add daily. When it comes to dating, can you really have too many options? Exactly.
  • However, if you do find yourself lacking in matches, eHarmony offers 2 additional options: Flex Matches and “What If?” Flex Matches offer you the profiles of people who fit some of your criteria, but not all. Those matches are labeled as flex matches and are a different color than your traditional matches. eHarmony has also implemented a new function on some member profiles called, “What If?” It allows you view up to 30 eHarmony members beyond your matches. They’re people who are compatible with you, but not listed in your matches section yet. If you’re interested, though, you can turn them into matches and move forward into the communication process. If you’re not interested, keep moving.
  • If you read the fine print, you can get a 3-Day Free Trial. (We show you how here.)

eHarmony Review :: Cons

  • eHarmony can be slightly expensive when signing up for one month only. $59.95 ain’t cheap. But they do offer discounts if you buy in bulk. Not Costco bulk, but more than one-month-at-a-time bulk. And again, if you read the fine print, there’s a way to ease your buying decision by understanding how to test drive it for free for 3 days.
  • One of our biggest complaints is that if someone is not a paying member, you have no way of knowing. So, while eHarmony has a ton of members, they also have a ton of non-paying ones as well. That profile with the cute guy/girl who leaks Jesus and seems like the perfect match for you? Well, he/she may or may not be able to communicate with you because he/she may or may not still be a member. This is a big detractor, but we can’t dock eHarmony too much in this area since it is not the only site that allows this to occur. However, if you decide to shell out major bucks and get their Premier membership, they’ll allow you to communicate with anyone–even non-paying members.
  • We also dislike that “What If?” isn’t available to all members, and we don’t know if it will ever be. For now, eHarmony says it’s “available to only a portion of our new members.” They also say that this page is constantly changing as the population of the site changes. We feel it’s a con that every paying member doesn’t get to use it.
  • The other issue that most people have is the inability to see the entire database of eHarmony profiles. This isn’t a problem if you believe slow and steady wins the race since eHarmony sends you up to 7 profiles daily for your review. But if you’re a marathon dater…well, marathon daters aren’t taking the time to read this post anyway, so never mind.

With that said, in our unbiased and impartial opinion, we think that eHarmony is the best Christian dating site for your buck right now.

Or first read how to take advantage of their 3-Day free trial.

Current Online Dating Coupons & Offers:

eHarmony: Match.com: Christian Cafe:

Related: Top Dating Site Reviews

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What are your thoughts about our eHarmony review? Do you agree with us? Have you tried the site? Love it, hate it, or are you indifferent?
Summary
Reviewer
SingleRoots Editors
Review Date
Reviewed Item
eHarmony.com
Author Rating
5
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  • http://www.RebekahHopes.blogspot.com Bekah Hope

    My best friend met her fiance on eHarmony. They’re getting married this July. Before that, her older sister met her husband on eHarmony. So of course I’ve tried it. In the beginning I liked it. It actually matched me with the husband of a friend of mine (whoops – his account shouldn’t have still been active!) so I knew it was matching me with the right kind of people. I met someone via the site that it ended up not working out with.. but regardless I signed up for another 3 month subscription. (they almost always have coupons/specials to get subscriptions for $15-$20 a month – just hunt for them!)

    The second go-round I wasn’t as impressed. After a month I got fewer and fewer matches each day (if any) and those I did get were mostly duds. Men who were OBVIOUSLY not even claiming to be Christians in their profiles, or who scarcely mentioned the name of God. I felt like I was still looking for a needle in a haystack regardless of those 29 dimensions. Really? If we don’t have Christ in common what do all those other areas of compatibility matter?

    I also had a subscription to Christian Cafe. I’d joined with a free subscription at first. And I didn’t like the format much. Browsing profiles and giving ANYONE the ability to browse mine or contact me didn’t appeal much. But I liked that it was easier to sort out denominations.

    Regardless of my reservations, I was contacted on Christian Cafe by a wonderful Christian man who I will be meeting in the next couple of weeks. So it can work!

    • SingleRoots Team

      You’re right, Bekah, it is nice to be able to sort out denominations on Christian Cafe, but you can do that on eHarmony, too, in your settings. You can also place the level of importance at “very” and that usually helps with the results. The format of Christian Cafe is the biggest reason we have a hard time recommending it over eHarmony. It’s so cluttered and difficult to maneuver.

      How exciting that you’re meeting someone! Good luck!

      • Guest

        ChristianCafe had less than 10 men in my age range in my city. ChristianMingle has many more than that. I don’t know why, but being able to sort by denominations doesn’t mean much when you only have 7 profiles to choose from anyway….

    • Mary

      I’ve been on eharmony for years. Originally tried to fill out the profile and it said I was not campatible! I paid for months and months at a time and had 1 date with a guy I’m fairly sure isn’t a Christian, and that was within a few weeks of signing up. I only ever get emails on free communication weekends. I live in a big city…

      • ryanmarcantonio

        Sounds like my experience

  • Ryan S.

    I can think of 4 Christian couples I know that met online and are now married — they all met on eHarmony.

    • Guest

      Ryan: what were their ages, etc? What match settings did they use? I’ve been on eH for over a week now, and they have sent me 0 matches – and I live in a reasonbly-sized college city/town. There should be loads of singles in my area, but none are on eH? There must be something wrong with their match system or algorithms or something, or I’m just not filling out the questions right.

  • http://ikissedmydategoodnight.com Ruth Rutherford

    The problem I’ve been having recently with eHarmony is that I get no matches. Literally. A week or two go by and I don’t get one match. How lame is that? My “requirements” are not too picky (a Christian and a non-murderer?), and I live in a big city (Washington, D.C.!). What gives, eHarmony? I wish there was a way to cancel my membership if I don’t get any new matches over a certain amount of time. Otherwise, what am I paying for???

    • SingleRoots Team

      We think you’re asking a bit much for a non-murderer. Come now, Ruth. ;)

      Most of the time, people who live in a smaller town with narrowed distance settings run into the lessening matches problem, but with you living in the DC area, that is a BIG negative.

      Did you pay for several months in advance? Have you emailed them to ask about it?

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts. We want to hear the good and bad so that people can make the most informed decisions.

    • Guest

      AMEN Ruth. I live in a smaller city than you do, but it’s a pretty large college town, so there should be loads of singles here. eH has sent me 0 matches in over a week, but they keep asking me to pay them to subscribe. Subscribe for what? For more weeks of zero matches? It makes no sense.

      Have you tried ChristianMingle? Or ChristianCafe? I found few matches in my area on ChristianCafe, but there are many more on ChristianMingle. Maybe it varies by city or state?

  • butterfly

    I’d like the sites to only show matches for my saved filter. Exclude out of state, etc. Eharmony interface (mobile droid or web) is terrible. Too cumbersome to scroll a lot of “matches that are not a match. The service is too expensive for showing members that cannot communicate. Also, the recently deleted the closed folder so if you accidentally close someone you cant get access to reverse. For saving resources, they should only show true matches of active members and keep the closed with periodic mandatory delete.also have an option to view “inactive member” matches.

  • Inquisitive

    I struggle to accept e-harmony at any level due to immorality being advocated by the owner, Neil Clark Warren. Rather than fight the homosexual agenda, he caved to it, and formed a “branch” of e-harmony that matches immoral people together. That stated, that is also done on E-harmony. At least the other Christian websites advocate that you are to be single, and of Christian morality. E-harmony asked my “sexual activity” level during their sign up process, and I closed out of it immediately and said, “hmm….so Mr. Warren wants me to match with others who are “sexually as active” as I am? So basically, NCW is profiting off of not only Christian singles, but he is also profiting off of single people of other faiths. To me that is profiteering for money. His philosophy has been reviewed by Focus on the Family and FOF removed their support of E-harmony for these very reasons. I wrote FOF years ago, before they unsupported e-harmony, explaining what NCW was doing as a Christian businessman. A couple years later, FOF dropped their support. I don’t think it was just me complaining.
    I figure..yeah, so a non-Christian figures out how to make matches and make money off it, and I can more easily do that “online” service, because a non-Christian business man is not profiting nor encouraging people to find people of the same faith – thus having removed the “Christian” evangelism part of the equation in the dating realm. But for a Christian business man to profit off of needy people of all “faiths” and “moralities” deeply disturbs my conscience so as to ask…”so…is it ok to support pornography, sexual immorality – even if “homo or hetero”? That one question was enough of a warning light to me, that not one dollar of my money belongs in the pocket of that type of businessman, when he states he is a Christian “teacher” yet, profits off of immorality. Yes…he says he lost the “lawsuit”. I say, no…he didn’t lose the lawsuit, I think he possibly lost his soul in promoting such “sexual sin” and “faith advocacy” of promoting getting people together, and making money off it, when it has removed the righteous intention we should all have of bring people to Christ. I will celebrate the weddings of my friends of other faiths and religions, but I am not a Christian, to let them give me money to just let them “relationally find the love of their life” by paying a Christian to keep them in a false religion. That inconsistency really bothers me.

    • Inquisitive

      to clarify the statement “I am not a Christian”…what I mean is…Christians should be advocating sexual morality and evanglizing the lost, single or married, and to “match” people just on “love of their life”, ignores that principle of Christianity, and….I struggle to see that is how a Christian should ever act. Thus I said “I am not a Christian” but the better way to say it would have been “I am not acting like a Christian, to let them…to keep them in a false religion.” And that is why that inconsistency really bothers me. “A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.”

  • Kirsten B.

    I’ve tried many online dating options out there and I didn’t mind eHarmony. I agree, not knowing who are paying and non-paying members was frustrating, but it seems almost every other dating website are the same. I signed up as a non-paying member to check it out and was going to pay to get full access…until the day I was matched with my older brother!!! Needless to say, I did not continue with eHarmony after that!

  • Wesley Hague

    WAAAY to over priced.

    First of all when I tried Eharmony a number of years ago, I had like 0 interest in most of my matches. I’m a computer geek, I’m not all that interest in Sports, and while I’ve got nothing against going to a Gym, its not a place I would be looking for a date. I wanted someone who shared some interest with me, simply because I’ve gotten a lot of attitude in Christian Circles that I need to “grow up.” or “grow out of.” My interests in computers, and video games. Not to mention I’m fairly introverted. So when like 75% of my matches and their profiles made it sound like they were gym buffs, or sports nuts, I started closing off matches which mentioned gym in the first paragraph.

    The vast majority of the singles that I was willing to start communication with cause I could see some level of common interest, were probably not paying members. Most never made it through the 85 hoops you have to jump through to actually get to open communication. The only one time I made it through open communication, was intentionally rushed during a free communication weekend, only to feel deceived when I finally saw her picture. So then I made it a happen to close of all communication with those I could not see a picture of. (I some good photos of what I looked like). So between filtering out Gym addicts, no picture users, non paying memebers, well 0 of my matches I was getting were useful.

    I’ve tried signing up a few more times since then, and my matches still don’t seem to be all that compatible. I’m not perfect, but I want to have something in common with someone I’m trying to establish a relationship with online. Its hard enough to come up with someone to type half the time.

  • CC

    I agree with the main negative: less control than other websites, which means you really need to trust the website and the way it matches people. None of the matches proposed were appropriate for me, even though I don’t think I have too high expectations. In addition, it is overpriced and there is little value for money. Website setup and app were disappointing. At this price, I would have expected a better service.
    But the main put off is the auto renewal feature. Albeit embedded in terms & conditions, it is easy to miss (unless you’ve been warned by other people or already been tricked in the past). Just beware and don’t forget to turn it off before you get debited and renewed for the same length of time without any advance warning.

  • Jessica

    I had a very poor experience with EHarmony. I was on there for a year and had zero dates and zero communication outside the website. I had restricted my settings to religion/faith being most important and refused to budge on that setting as I have learned that being equally yolked is extremely important. At first, I was not too restrictive on my distance settings, but when 90% of my matches were all over the country, I changed my settings to give me only matches closest to me. (Wasn’t looking to start a relationship with someone 600 miles away). From then on, I received very, very, very few matches. I was lucky to get one every two weeks on average (maybe?). I live in the Pittsburgh area–it is by no means the size of NYC, but there is not a shortage of Christian singles here. After three months, I actually [futilely] tried to get my money refunded because I had received so few matches and had no outside communication with matches, let alone a date. I have been on other dating websites looking for Christian singles and had much more success in the a three-month span (outside communication and multiple dates). After I tried to get a refund, I actually think they may have fabricated some of my matches as I received two very similar matches right in a row with no picture (and the profiles were brief and eerily similar). (There also seem to be a large amoutn of matches with no picture. This makes me extremely nervous. Granted anyone can take a picture off of Google and display it as their profile picture, but still…) As my subscription continued, I tried to initiate contact with some of my matches that seemed compatible and I never heard back. This happened time and time again. (I do have to say, I was not completely sure their policy on profiles that were no longer active and thank you for clearing that up SingleRoots). I don’t expect every match to respond, but after a while, it just seemed completely strange and ridiculous. Needless to say by the end of my subscription, I couldn’t help but feel like I had been scammed and, honestly, felt foolish for believing all their spiels on compatability and caring about members finding matches. They talk a good game, that’s for sure. And to top it off, after I had subscribed, I heard very poor reviews on EHarmony. I should have done my research first before investing a good chunk of money into a dating website.

  • angelamy

    In case anyone is looking for more current reviews…I’d recommend you stay away from eHarmony. I live in the DC area. BIG area…lots of single folks to choose from. I don’t think it was overly picky with my criteria (“normal” person w/in 20 miles). Lots of matches at first. Then, after a month or so, the number started dwindling and ultimately was made up solely of matches that “slightly outside my requirements” . I stayed on the site for the full year. At the end of the year, I planned to cancel. End date got away from me. Sure enough, they renewed my subscription for another year. No warning (it was in the fine print) and no refunds. So…buyer beware. Wasn’t impressed by the matching process (even in an area as populated as DC) and was really taken aback when they hold true to the auto-renewal/no refund policy. If you join..track, track and track some more.

  • Jack

    I have to day of the dating sites eharmony has far and away been the worst experience for me. Their matching system completely ignores the filters from age range to wanting to children to denomination or even faith in Christ at all. I have tried a year membership once 9 years ago and once a year ago after being convinced by believing friends that said it was much better now, with the same lousy result. I am not a huge fan of match but it does a much better job in it matching system as does Christianmingle even Christian Cafe. In those two different 1 year stints I only every went on more than one date with one woman. It ignored age range and matched me many times with women 10-20 years older than me and 20 years younger rather than the age range I had set. Consistently there were more women out of my set age range than in it. Also, I am someone who would like to start a family some day and I was regularly matched with women that either had children and did not want any more or women who did not have children and did not want them. Oh and I can’t forget being matched up with buddists, taoist, agnositics and even an atheist. I realize some people have had success but I am definitely not one and am stunned that it got your top review for believers.

  • Guest

    I signed up with eHarmony last week. I’m not a paying member yet. I wanted to look around and see if they actually had any members in my local area. Nevertheless, I set my preferences for men within a 30 year age range (which is pretty generous), any race, and within the entire USA. I still have not received any matches at all. By contrast, after signing up with ChristianMingle a month or two ago, and still not a paying member, I’m still receiving on average 3 new matches a day. Now, I don’t know if maybe eH just reserves the right to send matches to paying members only (okay, I can understand that), or ChristianMingle just has a larger database of local members in my area (since they advertise constantly on Fox News, and I live in a fairly conservative state). Still, I can’t rationalize spending $30 a month on up for a dating service that doesn’t provide matches. What would I be paying for? The pleasure of their blog posts? There are singles blogs I can read for free, so I don’t think eH is worth plunking down the plastic at this point…