Our eHarmony Review Bottom Line:
- GOOD: One of the oldest and largest online dating sites.
- BAD: You have less control on eHarmony than you do on other sites.
- TAKEAWAY: We think you’re more likely to find like-minded Christian matches on eHarmony than on any other online dating site.
In fact, when most (married) people pat us on the arm and ask us if we’ve tried online dating, they don’t even use the term “online dating.” They say, “Have you thought about getting on eHarmony?” It’s the go-to site.
So we decided to do an eHarmony review first. Because, well, the members of the SingleRoots team have tried it, and a lot of our friends have, too.
And our initial research indicated that of the people we interviewed, more of them had tried eHarmony than any other Christian dating site. While people might dislike it, we’ve found it seems to be a site that more of us are comfortable with—flaws and all.
Maybe it’s the fact that our profiles aren’t thrown into a sea of other profiles where everyone and their brother or sister has access to it. Or, maybe it’s the fact that it was founded by Dr. Neil Clark Warren, a man who’s supposedly on “our” team, and we trust “our” people, even if their company isn’t explicitly “Christian.” (Christians jump on Christian bandwagons? Never.)
Then again, it could just be that it’s one of the industry leaders and one of the first to market itself to Christians. For whatever reason, we don’t think it’s too much of an overgeneralization to say that a lot of Christians try eHarmony first.
But none of those reasons are why it scored so well in our rating of the Best Christian Dating Sites. We thought we’d do an eHarmony review to explain why it did score so highly.
eHarmony Review :: Pros
- The site is easy to use. It has a modern, clean feel to it, and it doesn’t take a college degree in computers to figure out how to navigate it. There aren’t a lot of extra bells and whistles to eHarmony that you find on other sites. While some may see this as a “con,” when compared with how confusing those others’ bells and whistles are, we see it as refreshing.
- Finding like-minded Christians on other sites can be like finding a needle in a haystack sometimes. Depending on the site, you might have to read a lot of text on a lot of profiles to decide if someone calls him/herself a “Christian” in name only or if he/she loves the Lord wholeheartedly and lives to serve Him. While eHarmony is not perfect, there’s something to be said for their 29 Dimensions of Compatibility testing (as lengthy as it may be). That, combined with stricter setting options for choosing how important commonalities in faith are with your matches, help give eHarmony a slight edge in this department.
- Another pro is the very thing we mentioned above: the sheer number of people on the site. It’s one of the biggest—if not the biggest—and chances are, you’re not going to run out of matches anytime soon with as many new members as they add daily. When it comes to dating, can you really have too many options? Exactly.
- However, if you do find yourself lacking in matches, eHarmony offers 2 additional options: Flex Matches and “What If?” Flex Matches offer you the profiles of people who fit some of your criteria, but not all. Those matches are labeled as flex matches and are a different color than your traditional matches. eHarmony has also implemented a function on paying member profiles called, “What If?” It allows you view up to 30 eHarmony members beyond your matches. They’re people who are compatible with you, but not listed in your matches section yet. If you’re interested, though, you can turn them into matches and move forward into the communication process. If you’re not interested, keep moving.
- If you read the fine print, you can get a 3-Day Free Trial. (We show you how here.)
eHarmony Review :: Cons
- eHarmony can be slightly expensive when signing up for one month only. $59.95 ain’t cheap. But they do offer discounts if you buy in bulk–not Costco bulk, but more than one-month-at-a-time bulk. And again, if you read the fine print, there’s a way to ease your buying decision by understanding how to test drive it for free for 3 days.
- One of our biggest complaints is that if someone is not a paying member, you have no way of knowing. So, while eHarmony has a ton of members, they also have a ton of non-paying ones as well. That profile with the cute guy/girl who leaks Jesus and seems like the perfect match for you? Well, he/she may or may not be able to communicate with you because he/she may or may not still be a member. This is a big detractor, but we can’t dock eHarmony too much in this area since it is not the only site that allows this to occur. However, if you decide to shell out major bucks and get their premier membership, they’ll allow you to communicate with anyone–even non-paying members.
- The other issue that most people have is the inability to see the entire database of eHarmony profiles. This isn’t a problem if you believe slow and steady wins the race since eHarmony sends you up to 7 profiles daily for your review. But if you’re a marathon dater…well, marathon daters aren’t taking the time to read this post anyway, so never mind.
eHarmony Review :: How Much Money Are We Talking About Here?
Who cares about pros and cons, right? You’re really here to talk about the bottom line—how much money this is going to cost you. As we mentioned in the section above, if you only purchase a one month, it’s going to run around $60. However, the price per month goes down considerably the more months you sign up for.
It’s hard to pin down exact pricing on eHarmony because they offer different prices to different people, depending on if you’re a new customer or if they’re trying to lure an old user back into the online dating world. We’ve seen prices run around $40/month for a 6-month membership and we’ve seen it go as low as $10/month for a 24-month membership. If you purchase longer-term plans, they’ll offer you option to pay in 3 installments too. (The screenshot above is the example of pricing that was given to a new, first-time user.)
eHarmony Review :: Our Recommendation
With all that said, in our unbiased and impartial opinion, we think that eHarmony is the best Christian dating site for your buck right now. Even though eHarmony can run slightly more than its competitors like Match or Christian Mingle, we still rank it higher than them. This isn’t a rating that we take lightly, but from our research and the anecdotes we hear from Christian singles, eHarmony tends to be the best option for serious, marriage-minded adults.
The most up-to-date, best deals out there for eHarmony memberships are linked at the bottom of this article. If you decide to move forward in setting up an account, scroll to the bottom, and click on the one that works best for you. It’ll open up eHarmony in a separate window and then you can follow our instructions below to walk you through the sign-up process. No, the sign-up process isn’t hard, but we’ve added some Pro Tips to help you out along the way.
eHarmony Review :: How to Set-up an eHarmony Account
The only thing you’ll need to set up your eHarmony account—besides your credit card—is a valid email address.
[Pro Tip: If you feel like you’re drowning in emails already, create a separate email account to house your online dating account(s). That way they’re not mixed in with your more important emails, and when you receive a notification in your inbox about that account, you’ll know it only has to do with online dating.]
The eHarmony account set-up process takes a good 15-20 minutes at least, so be prepared to set aside some time as you can’t save it and go back to it.
The first thing eHarmony will do is ask for your name, if you’re seeking a man or a woman, and your zip code. And then they’ll tease you by telling you how many matches are in your area. For the purposes of our research, we used a generic Dallas zip code and were told there were over 30,000 men in our area. (Eureka! Here’s my credit card!) See, they know what they’re doing over there at eHarmony.
Personality Profile Assessment: Multiple Choice Section
Of course they’ll start with the basics: gender, age, marital status, number of kids, etc. They’ll even ask if you know someone who’s been successful on the site or if you’ve ever used online dating yourself.
Then you’ll shift into the personality assessment. They’ll give you adjectives like “warm,” “stable,” and “generous” and ask how much those words describe you. They’ll also ask you for adjectives that your friends would use to describe you. Sure it takes some time, but the introspection that occurs while taking the assessment can be helpful and maybe a little sobering.
eHarmony will ask you about statements you identify with, along with feelings you might’ve encountered over the past month. They’ll also ask what you’re good at, what you like to do, your skill set, and your interests.
And don’t worry, if you answer too quickly ole eHarmony will police you and slow you down. This is a hugely important self-assessment, you know. Your future marriage could depend on it!
For those who are concerned about finding like-minded Christians, it’s important to note that the assessment includes questions about your religious beliefs, as well as sexual activity.
Earlier in this eHarmony review, we mentioned that eHarmony is a bit better than other sites when it comes to finding matches who are believers. Here’s where that happens: You’re allowed to specify the religions and denominations that you want to be matched with. You’re also asked how important your match’s religion is—not at all, somewhat important, or very important. These restrictions help their algorithm to better know that your relationship with Christ is important to you.
Short Answer Questions
Once you finish the multiple-choice section, you’ll move onto the short answers that will be included in your actual profile. If you leave them blank, eHarmony won’t include them in your profile, but if you want to change them later, you’ll be able to edit them at any time.
[Pro Tip: Take your time on these answers. Be as creative and sincere as possible, as these answers will set your profile apart from other matches. Don’t leave too many blank because full profiles are a good way for your matches to gain a better understanding of whether or not you’re a good candidate for them. And if you think grammar doesn’t matter to your matches, think again. A recent Wall Street Journal article stated that 75% of men and 88% of women judge a date on their grammar, second only to personal hygiene.]
We’ve said it a million times outside of this eHarmony review but it bears repeating: Choose your photos wisely. Guys, stop it with the (shirtless) mirror selfies. Girls, stop it with the duck faces. If you don’t have good, normal photos of yourself, then ask a trusted friend to take some for you. (But don’t post 5 shots of you in your backyard taken in one 10 minute span: This is me next to the tree, this is me on the back porch, this is me next to another tree, this is me by the back fence, this is me by the back fence with a hat on.)
If you don’t want to ask a trusted friend, you can import photos from Facebook. This is a good option because many of us have been tagged in others’ photos and this allows you to get them without having to ask for them.
Give Them Your Money
The next step is the hard sell. eHarmony will show you all of the plans, as well as pricing for your membership. Remember: You won’t be able to see any of your matches’ photos without a paying membership. You can read their profiles, but you can’t view the pics.
eHarmony offers Total Connect Plans which is a premium, but it costs more than Basic Plans. It just depends on how secure you want your account. Total Connect will ensure your matches that you are who you say you are. It also gives you access to the Secure Phone Call feature.
[Pro Tip: At first glance, you won’t see an option for less than a 3-month membership. If you scroll to the bottom of the price plan chart, you’ll see “Full Price Plan.” If you click on it, more small print will drop down with the option of a 1-month membership for $59.95. Like we mentioned earlier in this eHarmony review, that’s pricey. Committing to more than a month will save you money, but this is a valid option for those who just want to try it out.]
[Another Pro Tip: At first glance, it will appear as if you can’t move forward on the eHarmony site without purchasing a plan. If you click on the eHarmony logo in the top left hand corner, it will take you to the full site.
Remember, as mentioned before, you won’t be able to see your matches’ photos without paying, but if you want to check things out before paying, clicking on the logo will take you there. Don’t worry: They’ll hound you about becoming a subscriber, so you’ll always find a link to pay for a membership if you decide to move forward.]
eHarmony Review :: How to Close Your eHarmony Account When You’ve Found the Love of Your Life
So what if you are one of the lucky ones and you find the love of your life on eHarmony? Or what if you need to just take a little break from online dating? For whatever reason, people sometimes you need to cut ties and some want to do so permanently. It’s important to note that, if you’re a paying subscriber, your account will close when the time period that you have paid for runs out. They will not refund partial memberships.
[Pro Tip: Before your account is permanently closed, go in and delete all of your photos from your account. Since you won’t have access to check it or delete them later, it’s a good rule of thumb to take them down beforehand. It’s just a safeguard to put in place just in case.]
Whether you’re a paying member of eHarmony or not, the process for closing your account is the same:
Go to your Settings and then to your Account Settings. Under “Billing,” there should be a somewhat obscure option to “Close Account” or “Cancel My Subscription” (for paying members). It’s not highlighted, and it’s easy to miss.
If you’re a paying member, you’ll need to cancel your subscription, which means that you’ll be able to use your account until your paid subscription runs out. If you’re on a payment plan, you will not be able to close your account until you have paid the money you’ve agreed to pay.
eHarmony will then ask you if you’re sure this is something you want to do. They’ll remind you that you’ll lose all of your matches, along with your communication with those matches. But most importantly, you’ll have to retake the lengthy personality assessment if you want to re-join in the future.
Remember: If you are a paid subscriber, your account will close after the period you’ve paid for is completed. Until then, you can use the account as usual.
[Pro Tip: If you just want to take a break and not delete everything, you can go into your Settings, then Match Settings, and tell eHarmony to quit sending you new matches. That will pause your account until you tell it to start sending them again. That won’t stop any matches you already have from communicating with you, but it will keep you from having to endure the set-up process again. If you’re a paying member, you also need to go into your Account Settings, then into Billing, and turn off the Auto-renewal feature so you won’t be billed again until you’re ready to pick back up as a paying member.]
Or first read how to take advantage of their 3-Day free trial.
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Related: Top Dating Site Reviews - with eHarmony Special Offer
What are your thoughts about our eHarmony review? Do you agree with us? Have you tried the site? Love it, hate it, indifferent?