Lauren was the first person to agree to let us follow along on her foray into the world of online dating. She tried eharmony for the first 3 months, and she didn’t have much success. And by “not much” we mean “none.”
But thanks to the encouragement of a few friends, she decided to try Match.com for her next go-round, and she had a really good first month. So now we’re checking in to see how her second month went. Here’s what she had to say:
So you’ve been using Match.com for 2 months now. How’s it going?
Lauren: Still going pretty well! I do sometimes feel like I come across the same people over and over, but there are also lots of new people added every day. And Match only keeps track of communications sent/received for about a month, so since I’ve been online for two months I have to rely on my memory to keep me from winking at the same guys over and over! I’d say the number of emails/winks/etc. I receive has dipped a little since the first few weeks when I was a new face on the site, but it’s still steady enough to make me feel hopeful!
How many dates have you been on? Do any of them have potential?
Lauren: I’ve only had two dates so far. I talked about the first one in my update last month and mentioned a possible second date in that same update. I did finally go on a date with the second guy, and it was great! We met for ice cream after work one day when he happened to be in my part of town, and I was pleasantly surprised at how nice he was and how easy our conversation flowed! We continued to text and email for a week or two afterward, but unfortunately it did fizzle after a while. We live about 2 hours away from each other, so it was a little difficult trying to figure out how to make things work.
There are a couple of new guys I’ve been talking to, though, and I’m really excited to see how those pan out! Each one is someone I would consider very dateable, and our conversations (which range from Match emails to regular emails to text messages and phone calls) have been great! It almost feels like I’m getting better at this process as I go, and that I’m finally learning to hone in on better matches for me. Hopefully next month I’ll have some new dates to tell about!
Have you learned anything about yourself or your dating preferences in the process?
Lauren: I feel like I’ve learned so much. First of all, I’ve learned that I don’t take enough initiative. I don’t want a relationship where I’m doing all the pursuing, but I’ve learned that if I don’t push myself out of my comfort zone just a little bit, then I’m probably not doing enough to let a guy know I’m interested. Online this just means that I need to stop hiding behind “winks” and “likes.” I would sit back so long online waiting for a guy to pursue me just because he saw me look at his profile. But I’m learning that it’s okay to send the first message, and let him know without a doubt that I’d like to talk to him. I’ve been surprised by how many guys have quickly responded by letting me know they’ve been noticing me for a while, but didn’t think I was interested because I never said hello. I guess they sometimes need the encouragement, same as me.
You’ve had time to get a feel for the site by now, what do you most like about the site and what do you like least?
Lauren: What I like least is that I’m almost two months into the process, and the site still confuses me! There are just too many options for methods of communication with your matches. I mentioned it in my review last month… there are winks, likes, favorites, profile views, he’s interested/you’re interested, emails, etc. Simplify, please!! There have been several times where I’ve checked all the above categories, then a few days later noticed someone had commented on a picture or something and I’d missed it in the shuffle. So now I’m always afraid someone’s communication will get lost in all the chaos, and that I’ll come across as rude or disinterested because of it.
Which do you prefer: the mobile app or the website? Why?
Lauren: I probably use both equally. The app is actually pretty good for seeing all your communication and notifications, and I admit that I log in using my phone during the day when I’m bored at work. It’s very convenient for people who are on-the-go! But the website is better for using the “search” feature, and obviously I prefer typing any responses on a computer versus my iPhone.
On a scale of “This is the most fun I’ve had in a really long time!” to “I’m ready to throw my computer in the river!” how do you currently feel about the process?
Lauren: I’d say I’m a hopeful 6 right now. I don’t always have the time to devote to the process, and I understand you only get out of it what you put into it, so I sometimes get frustrated when I don’t have the time to keep up for a few days. But the bottom line is that I’ve been so pleasantly surprised at some of the guys I’ve encountered in this process! I honestly feel that there are dateable guys for me on this site, and that it’s just a matter of time and patience before I find someone special!
Have you used Match.com? What has your experience on the site been like?
Photo credit: Alex