We’ve been following Lauren’s first-time online dating experience on eharmony for the past few months.
In her final interview, Lauren shares the highs and lows of her online dating experience and whether or not she’d recommend it to others. Here’s what she had to say about the last 3 months:
SingleRoots: Let’s get down to numbers: In your 3 months of online dating, how many guys have you actually communicated with: How many have you talked on the phone and/or texted with? How many have you gone on dates with? How many had real potential, even if it didn’t work out?
Lauren: Well… in an apparent ongoing attempt to bore your readers to death, not only have I not been on any dates, but I haven’t communicated with anyone, either! Actually I take that back… I did briefly start the guided communication process with one guy a while back. I sent him questions and he answered, then he sent me questions and I answered. Then he sent me a list of 10 “must have” and 10 “can’t stand” qualities (from a multiple choice list, and you have to come up with a full 10 of each). I felt pretty good about his answers, so I sent him my list of 10 each. In response, he blocked me. Not just stopped communicating, but full-on blocked me! Which leads me to kinda wonder if he took offense to my answers because he was, in fact, a drug addicted, fiscally irresponsible, lying, cheating workaholic… Okay, okay, chances are he probably isn’t all those things. 🙂 I’m sure he’s a nice guy and had legitimate reasons. Sometimes it just helps to find the humor in it all!
SingleRoots: Are there any reasons you think your online dating experience is exceptional or atypical?
Lauren: The more I ask around and read about other people’s experiences with online dating, the more average I think mine is. I hear a lot of people saying they gave eharmony a few months, or even a year, before getting discouraged and giving up. The encouraging part is always when they say they decided to go back and try one more time, and then found someone great! Maybe just I need a break, followed by a second wind??
SingleRoots: Do you think you wasted your money by subscribing to an online dating service?
Lauren: No, I definitely don’t think I wasted my money by subscribing for online dating. I do think maybe I wasted money on the wrong site for me, though. This was my first experience with online dating, and I went with the website I felt most secure with at the time. I’m glad I got a good deal on eharmony when I signed up, though, so at least the amount I spent didn’t hurt my wallet too badly!
SingleRoots: Are you planning to continue online dating? If so, would you use the same site or try a different one?
Lauren: I think I will continue to try online dating, at least for a little while. I actually paid for 6 months on eharmony upfront, so I still have 3 months left to go. The next 3 months will probably be more about just keeping my profile visible, and less about me actively seeking out matches through the site. I’m pretty interested in trying Match.com next. I have friends who are currently using Match, and so far it seems like they’re having better luck. Given that I have much the same dating parameters as my friends, it’s been encouraging to hear their feedback!
SingleRoots: You’ve been on this online dating venture for 3 months now. What one word would you use to sum it up?
Lauren: Just one word??? Okay… not to be a Debbie Downer, but I guess I’d have to go with “discouraging.” I think I’d built up a different expectation in my mind of how this would all go, and then it didn’t live up to those expectations. I assumed I’d at least have communicated with someone through the site by this point, maybe even gone on a date or two. In a city the size of Dallas, I guess I just thought the larger dating pool would equal faster success. I’m learning as I go, though, and am developing a more realistic expectation for the future!
SingleRoots: Would you recommend other people try online dating?
Lauren: Yes, I’d definitely recommend online dating. Even though I haven’t had “success” yet, I’ve learned so much about myself through this process. And it’s also helped me pinpoint my motivations for wanting to date in the first place. Do I want to date for sport? For the ego boost of being asked out? Because I’m bored on a Friday night? Or because I truly want to find compatibility and think it’s worth waiting and searching for? Personally, I’ve found that I’m okay holding out until I come across that special someone who truly blows all others out of the water for me. 🙂
If you’re new to the site and intrigued by Lauren’s eharmony experience, you might also want to check out our SingleRoots Online Dating Experiment. We’ve selected 4 other people to try out the top-ranked Best Christian Dating Sites, and we’re following their experiences, too!
Photo credit: Stefan