Each one of our participants in the Online Dating Experiment brings something unique to the discussion about online dating. Micah, a 33-year old from New Orleans, gives us a male perspective but he also helps us to see what it’s like to use one of the bigger online dating sites in a bigger city.
Because of where he lives, we connected him with Christian Mingle, one of the larger online dating sites. We wanted to see if living in a city and being a guy gave him any sort of advantage.
Here’s what Micah had to say about his second month on Christian Mingle:
So you’ve been using Christian Mingle for 2 months now. How’s it going?
Micah: Slow, but I’m thinking and praying about dating more than I did before this process.
How many dates have you been on? Do any of them have potential?
Micah: No dates. I pursued one woman, though nothing has developed.
What’s been the most surprising part of online dating so far?
Micah: I guess what’s been most surprising is how much this process has kept the reality of dating in the forefront of my mind. It’s knocking the cobwebs out of the routine of my life (and with that the lack of dating).
Have you learned anything about yourself or your dating preferences in the process?
Micah: I have. I have learned the importance of the personal. Though I may meet someone online—and this has been my experience in the past—I want that someone to be close enough in proximity so we can get to know each other in the contexts of our daily/weekly lives.
You’ve had time to get a feel for the site by now, what do you like most about the site and what do you like least?
Micah: I like most that there is an easy option for engaging in conversation, were one to be interested in doing so. I can IM someone and get to chattin’. What I like least (and this is more about me than the site) is that I don’t yet trust the site. In the past I’ve used a site whose mode of matching couples together, I trusted. I knew (from his books) the developer of that site, and trusted the process I was committing to. I don’t have that same sort of trust with this site, yet.
Which do you prefer: the mobile app or the website? Why?
Micah: I have only used the website thus far.
On a scale of “This is the most fun I’ve had in a really long time!” to “I’m ready to throw my computer in the river!” how do you currently feel about the process?
Micah: I feel uncommitted, I hate to say it. Some of this goes back to my lack of trust in the website, and my growing desire to pursue someone whose daily and weekly life overlaps more obviously with mine. Perhaps my lack of commitment also reveals something of my lack of confidence in finding good things in unexpected places. Lord, keep me open to your work and your goodness.