Okay, so maybe this guide to Christian dating advice is not completely exhaustive, but it’s a respectable survey of all sides. After all, when we’re talking about Christian dating, it’s not like anyone knows for certain how to navigate that often-crazy world. The Bible doesn’t exactly give us step-by-step instructions on how to ask someone out, you know?
So we gathered a bunch of people’s ideas (that we’ve found on the internet) and put it all in one place—a guide, if you will. There’s no way all of us are going to agree on every single one of these posts—absolutely no way. But it’s good to think about how we will “conduct ourselves in a manner worthy of the calling we’ve received”—even, and maybe even more so, in our dating lives.
As you go through these links, keep in mind that everyone is just doing their best—sharing lessons they’ve learned, tips their grandpa showed them, things they heard their preacher say, or ideas they gleaned from their own theological training or even in their quiet times. Some are deep; some are more practical.
It’s important to remember that few of these pieces of Christian dating advice are hills to die on, but they’re good food for contemplation. It’s not like any of us can make a Biblical mandate for trivial matters like whether or not text invitations are okay for dates (They’re not, btw.) or if you should wait until you’re at the altar to kiss your spouse (Lord, please, no!). (See? Everyone has an opinion.)
How Should Christians Date :: Relevant Magazine
“But what if there was another option? What if Christians just began to date like normal people—not dating toward immediate marriage and not eschewing dating for the less-desirable “hanging out” no man’s land? Here’s what I think it would require…”
What Does “Intentional” Mean in Dating :: The Gospel Coalition
“I am disappointed that we haven’t modified our thinking about a cultural practice that has evolved immensely in good ways and bad. We are stuck dealing with the most complex, dynamic relationship situations by applying clunky and awkward dating categories that are entirely unique to a historical setting at least 50 years ago in our small subculture…”
“Most Dudes Are Weird and I Pity Them”: Dating Advice for Actual Christian Guys :: Christ and Pop Culture
“So here is my advice, and I want to keep this simple because finding a friend who is a girl who will take you seriously is plenty hard without our adding layers of nuance to how to date…”
Biblical Dating: How It’s Different from Modern Dating :: Boundless
“…We cannot simply state that the Bible ‘doesn’t mention dating or courtship,’ and then think we’re off the hook to pursue this area of our lives either on the world’s terms or however seems best to us without diligent, submissive reference to God’s Word…”
10 Questions on Dating with Matt Chandler :: Desiring God
“Because what I have tragically found is that Christian singles hit an area of desperation, particularly young women, and they will go: ‘Yeah, he is a Christian, he comes to church.’ And really what they’re saying is this guy comes to church a couple of times a month, but outside of attending a service, he doesn’t have a real seriousness about growing in his understanding of the Lord, growing in his understanding of the Bible…”
God Didn’t (and Won’t) Tell You to Marry Your Spouse :: Gary Thomas
“If you’re a single person reading this, I implore you to avoid trying to ‘second guess’ God’s will as to who you ‘should’ marry and instead look for the character qualities in a spouse the Bible exalts. What I’m saying may not sound very romantic, but please realize that the consequences to living by a sentimental romanticism are real—and in the case of marriage, can be long-lasting…”
Dating by Q&A :: Her.meneutics
“Regardless of what we ask, we have the opportunity to listen to their responses and understand another person as more than just a potential husband or wife. In getting to know someone, we are given a glimpse, however slight, of the image-bearing nature of an individual…”
Tips for a Healthy Dating Relationship :: Dr. James Dobson
“Keep the mystery and the dignity in your relationship. If the other partner begins to feel trapped and withdraws for a time, grant him or her some space and pull back yourself. Do not build a cage around that person. Instead, release your grip with confidence while never appeasing immorality or destructive behavior…”
Should I Date Someone Whose Theology Is Different :: John Piper
“Don’t ask the minimalistic question. If you only want to know how little you have to agree on together in order to move forward, then you’re asking the wrong question…”
9 Signs You Should Break Up :: The Porch Dallas
“Most dating relationships fail. They end. They break up long before marriage. And that’s OK. I mean, it’s not great, and it’s not fun, and it ideally would never be necessary. But if you are in the wrong relationship, then it is necessary, and should happen sooner rather than later. Otherwise there will just be more hurt, heartache, and regrets when it does inevitably end…”
7 Tips for Christian Dating :: InterVarsity
“When it comes to dating, it would do us well to see it as an avenue toward getting to know God’s people. Just like anything else we do in this life, dating is a way that we can reflect Christ to the people we come in contact with. Let’s take the pressure off and see it as just that…”
How Do You Know When You Love a Girl? :: Todd Wagner
“I would urge you before you even get to that question to ask, ‘Am I already married well?’…”
And if all of this talk about intentionality or free-range dating is just too heavy for you, then check out our Dear Adam/Eve Christian dating advice series. But if sarcasm isn’t your thing, then you might just want to move right along…
What other good Christian dating advice have you run across? Share it with us in the comments below.
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