This is for the single guys...

Dear Adam,

Don’t worry, I’m not going to tell you what you’re doing wrong today. We’ll save that for another week.

We’ve talked a few times recently about men taking initiative and pursuing women. It’s a problem for some men, to be sure. But there are many great guys out there who are getting everything right. Because signals can easily get crossed, sometimes in the single world we fail to tell a member of the opposite sex how much we appreciate, not only their efforts, but who they are.

So if I may, I’d like to speak a word to the guys on behalf of the ladies… [Read more...]

Men tell stories without a lot of superfluous emotional detail.

Dear Eve,

Men tell stories. It’s just what we do. Narrative is the way we share information.

“Is that desk heavy? Let me tell you about the time I helped my cousin move.”
“You think your girlfriend is clingy? The girl I was with in ’05 would put her to shame”.

Pay attention to a group of men talking and see how much time is spent in story and how much is spent on emotion. The stories we use are plot driven. What does a plot require? Beginning, middle, and end. Advance the story. Get from point A to point B promptly and keep it entertaining.

Emotions? Only if it helps advance the plot. You were feeling sad? It better have something to do with a terrorist killing your dog and your relentless pursuit of justice. None of that? Just sad? I believe you have wasted my time, sir. [Read more...]

Mixed messages might make even the assertive guys a bit hesitant.

Dear Eve,
It seems that we’ve had some miscommunication (again) and, frankly, it has left me confused. Allow me to explain.

If Bradley Cooper were to track down the address of your employer and leave a love note on your car one day while you were at work, you would think it was incredibly thoughtful and irresistibly hot. Should I decide to do the same thing, then I’m called a stalker.

That time when Edward and his rock-hard, albeit pale, topless body showed up in the middle of the night to tap on your window because he just couldn’t be away from you a minute longer? You found it so romantic you blubbered on about it with your girlfriends for days. On the flip side, I heard you invite a girlfriend to your Tuesday yoga class, but when you found me waiting outside afterwards, with flowers in hand, I was dubbed a big “creeper.” [Read more...]