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Are You Evaluating the Opposite Sex Fairly?

Jake Harvey

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Jake Harvey

I am not a fan of Twilight. I haven’t read any of the books and I haven’t watched any of the movies. I suppose that’s okay though because I’m not really the target audience. However, I am a fan of James Bond movies—all of them.  Sean Connery, Roger Moore, and even Pierce Brosnan. Why? Because awesome, albeit sometimes ridiculous, stuff happens in every movie.

Are You Evaluating the Opposite Sex Fairly?

Now what do Twilight and Bond movies have in common? If you said “vampires” you need to watch more Bond movies. The commonality is that they both play up to a gender’s desires. Twilight presents a girl who is in the average category. But what happens? She becomes the sole desire of a good-looking male lead. I’m sure that I am not really developing the psychological complexities of the love story of Twilight, but you get the picture.

What about Bond movies? He’s rough and tough, but he’s smooth with the ladies. They swoon over him and, not sure if you’ve noticed, they are all very attractive. He defeats the bad guys, he’s always cool, and the ladies love him—3 things that go after a man’s psyche.

It boils down to marketing. Twilight movies were written to appeal directly to a woman’s heart, Bond movies appeal to a man’s, and both franchises have made gazillions of dollars. Here’s the problem – THEY’RE NOT REAL. Good thing I didn’t include Star Trek or I bet I’d get some hate mail.

The presentation of the opposite sex in those movies is sinister because, if that creeps in to how we evaluate the opposite sex, it’s going to be a disaster.

Ladies, are you looking for a man whose life revolves around your every need? Hiring a personal assistant would be more practical.
Fellas, are you non-committal because you’re waiting for your Bond Girl? Transforming yourself into Tom Brady could make that happen.

Jesus didn’t use up a whole lot of time discussing dating and marriage. What little he did say dealt with divorce, and it was a lot tougher than the standards of the day. So if Hollywood isn’t supposed to set the standard and Jesus only talked about divorce, what are we supposed to do?

Jesus’ concern wasn’t so much about what to look for in a potential boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse. His concern was how an individual ought to conduct him/herself. Look at Matthew 5. Gentle, merciful, a peacemaker, hungers and thirsts for righteousness, etc. I despise clichés, but the one about running after Jesus as fast as you can and then see who’s running with you as the best way to find that special someone seems pretty legit. That’s because, in real life, blowing up bad guys gets you 25 to life and vampires don’t exist.

If compatibility is confined to a list of must have’s and cannot’s, is it more likely that it has been influenced by pop culture or by Jesus? Are you looking for someone who’ll make you go that extra mile, or are you looking for someone who gazes to your eyes and listens intently while you complain about that girl at work who’s jealous of you? Are you looking for someone who forces you to turn the other cheek (I’m against domestic violence, for the record), or who instantly makes you look better when you walk in a room together? I’m just saying.

I’m not pretending that I seek out demanding women so that I might learn how to be more patient and not let the sun go down on my anger. That would be ridiculous, but my concern for spiritual and emotional attributes has grown as the idea of compatibility has been explored. Do differences in taste and style really matter that much? Sometimes, but does it matter more if the other person only likes Jesus if he doesn’t demand too much? That’s your call.

What I do know is that some of the people in retirement homes used to be smoking hot…think about that. And I know that a man who is always at a woman’s beck and call has characteristics that more resemble a dog’s than a man’s.

I’ve referenced Twilight far too much in a short space of time, so I’m going to go change my truck’s oil and then clean guns while I watch a Bond movie.

Filed Under: Relationships, Dating, SingleRoots, Relationships Tagged With: boyfriend, cliches, dating, divorce, girlfriend, Hollywood, marriage, men, relationships, women

Jake Harvey

Jake's music preferences range from Waylon Jennings to Clutch to TV on the Radio, and he severely dislikes the Chicago Cubs and whining. He also spends time studying economic theory, buying books and guns, and resisting the urge to break dance when he sees cardboard on the ground.

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