Today we’re featuring one of the questions we tackle in our free revised eBook, When Will I Get Married? (and 8 Other Questions that Plague Singles). Sign up in the box on the right to become a SingleRoots email subscriber and download your free copy today!
Not everyone is sitting around pining for the love of his or her life to come along. In fact, there are a lot of us who are so busy living our lives that sometimes we wonder if there’s room for a relationship.
I’ve found that since I’ve become a single thirty something, I’ve started taking an account of all of the great aspects of my singleness, such as not having to budget for boats, 4-wheelers or guns, being able to plan meals around 1 person’s palate and preferences, not having someone complain about my driving, or not having to share electronics for Ice Road Truckers or World of Warcraft.
The longer I’m single, the more I find myself wondering if I even want to get married. I mean, sure, I want the whole love and affection (and sex) part, but I’m becoming pretty independent, pretty picky, pretty quirky, pretty idiosyncratic, pretty…selfish.
I often think about what I want to do and what is going to make me happy.
You’ll never hear the SingleRoots team say that everyone is destined for marriage. That’s simply not true. After all, Jesus Himself remained single throughout His entire life, as did (arguably) the Apostle Paul. There are many virtuous reasons to remain single, and God often calls people to a life of celibacy.
If you feel called to a life of singleness, that’s just as exciting as a life of marriage. They are both a gift from the Lord and are to be stewarded wisely and used for the glorification of Christ and for the building up of the Kingdom.
But a word of caution:
Not to go all semantics on you, but the original question was “What if I don’t WANT to get married?” There’s a big difference in “want” versus “called.”
As mentioned earlier, it is an exciting thing when God places a call on your life. It requires faith and dependence on the Holy Spirit to sustain you and walk you through it.
Sometimes, though, as humans we have a tendency to get comfortable and avoid all risk taking. If you’ve been single for a lengthy period of time, it is wise to seek the Lord before waving the white flag of surrender when it comes to marriage. Too often it becomes “easier” to stay single and have it your way every day than it does to sacrifice and learn to live your life in union with another.
Again, hear us clearly: we are not saying one is preferable over another. But what we are saying is that when it comes to our humanity and our ever-deceptive heart (Jeremiah 17:9), we are wise to allow the Holy Spirit to examine and search our hearts in every nook and cranny.
Marriage and singleness are no different.
The motivation of our heart for marriage should be exalting Christ, not fulfilling some deep need for love and acceptance that only He can fill.
Likewise, the motivation of our heart for singleness should be exalting Christ, not isolating ourselves and living a “free” life that is not burdened by the accompaniment of another person.
For your free copy of our eBook, When Will I Get Married? (and 8 Other Questions that Plague Singles), enter your email address in the box below! You’ll receive a free download almost immediately!