“If at first you don’t succeed, try again.” Right? Didn’t someone, somewhere say that? When Lauren’s 3-month online dating stint on eharmony didn’t lead to any dates, she could’ve given up and taken a break from online dating.
But instead of letting it turn her off from the process, she was ready to try another site and see where that led her. After all, those 3 months on eharmony had been her first time to ever try out online dating, and she had heard stories from many of her friends about how they’d had far more success than she had.
So, after doing some research—reading reviews and polling her friends—Lauren decided to try Match.com for 3 months. And, because we’d followed her time on eharmony, she agreed to let us follow her Match.com experience, too.
Here’s how her first month on Match.com has gone… (Hint: It’s going well!)
Which online dating site did you pick and why? How long did you commit?
Lauren: I chose Match this time, and I signed up for 3 months. After 3 months on eharmony with zero success and a lot of discouragement, I asked a friend who was using Match to take me “behind the scenes” while she navigated the site and to show me what type of matches she was getting. Because she and I are looking for such similar things in a guy, it gave me a good idea of what I might expect on the site. I saw enough promise to make me decide to sign up for Match myself!
On a scale of 1 to solving a Rubik’s cube, how difficult was the process of signing up and completing your profile?
Lauren: Probably a solid 3. It was actually super easy to sign up and fill out the questions about myself and what I’m looking for. The hardest part of signing up was just in figuring out the words I wanted to say and the pictures I wanted to use. The entire process was made fairly simple by the way Match is set up. Before I knew it, I was off and running, and receiving my first communication!
**Important to note: After the initial signup, I’d say using the site goes from a 3 to about at least a 6 in difficulty. The site takes a while to understand, as there are a handful of different ways a match can let you know they’re interested… it gets confusing. They can wink, email, favorite your profile, comment on a picture, like a picture, select that they’re “interested,” chat with you, or just plain let you see they’ve looked at your profile. Also, I often wish there was a way to notate for myself why I’ve ruled out a match, for the purpose of keeping track (like a comment only I can see, such as “he’s a smoker,” etc.). The pool is so much larger on Match, so I find I keep opening the same profiles to remind myself of each guy’s “story,” which I’m sure leads some guys to conclude that I might be interested. The sad truth is that I just have bad short-term memory with these things…
What are your first impressions?
Lauren: My first impression is that Match is a complete turnaround from my previous (and continuing) online dating experience with eharmony. I know it’s different for every person and in every city, so I can’t guarantee the same results for everyone across the board, but judging by my first month on Match I feel like I’ve found a better site for me personally. I understand why people think it’s more difficult to assess someone’s faith and beliefs on Match, but I feel it’s the same there as it is anywhere (including eharmony): when someone loves the Lord and is seeking the same in a partner, they’re going to talk about it. I pay attention first to the “faith” section of a guy’s profile (basically his religious preference), then I read to see if he goes on to talk about it. And lastly, I look to see what he lists as his preference for faith in a match (is he looking for someone of faith, or will just any woman do?). If a guy is truly seeking the Lord and looking for someone like-minded, I feel like all three of those areas combined should show it.
Have you had any dates yet?
Lauren: Hallelujah, YES!!! At just 3 weeks in, I was asked out by a guy I’d been emailing with who I was pretty excited about! We met for appetizers on a patio in a cute trendy shopping area after work one evening. It’s too soon to tell if it’s a “love connection” or not, but we did share a few laughs and genuine conversation, and that in itself was refreshing!
I’ve been communicating with a few other guys, and so far am pretty interested in one in particular. There’s a little bit of distance between us, so we haven’t been able to meet for a date yet, but plans are being formed even as I write this for a “dinner and dessert” date in the very near future!
What is the most frustrating thing about online dating this time around?
Lauren: The most frustrating thing this time around has mostly been that life is busy right now. I don’t know why I’m surprised by this, but having more luck equals a need to devote larger amounts of time to the whole process. I’m finding that I only have about an hour at the end of the day when I can sit down with my computer to keep up with communication. I try to be gracious to any guy who has taken the time to email me, but an hour is just not enough time to do that and still be able to use the site to its full potential by seeking out my own matches. If a guy sends me a quality email (asking great questions, putting thought into conversation, etc.), I’m excited to reply! So I don’t want to seem rude by waiting too long to reply, but sometimes that’s just how my week plays out. Luckily the mobile app has come in handy in some of those cases. 🙂
What’s been the most exciting thing about online dating this time around?
Lauren: The most exciting thing is just having so many matches on the site that I’m interested in communicating with! After months with no luck, it’s great to try something new and find that there are guys in my city who love the Lord and who are seeking a Christ-centered relationship, same as me. It’s exciting getting to know a little about these guys! And it’s always encouraging when they want to know a little more about me, too.
Okay, so you’re one month in. On a scale of 1 to Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah’s couch, how do you feel about online dating at this point? Explain.
Lauren: Well I’m not jumping on any couches yet… but I’d say I’m a solid 7 right now. After my first three months online, I was hovering around a 1, so 7 is a huge improvement! I know it’s because I’m finally having a little success, and because I’m actually meeting and communicating with some quality guys. But I do still find myself guarding my excitement a little bit, at least until I meet the one guy who stands out above the rest! I’m definitely having more fun now with the process than I did in the previous three months, though!
To read about Lauren’s experience on eharmony, check out:
- The eharmony Experiment :: Lauren’s Story, Month 1
- The eharmony Experiment :: Lauren’s Story, Month 2
- The eharmony Experiment :: Lauren’s Story, Month 3
Photo credit: Arthur