When I started this Online Dating Experiment three months ago, I set up an account on all three sites on my laptop. I wanted to see the full sites and read all the fine print without zooming in on the screen with my thumb and forefinger.
Eventually, once all three of my accounts were set up, I pretty much stuck with the apps. Who wants to hunt for your computer, prop up on some pillows, and open up a laptop in the morning when you can just roll over in bed and check for new matches from the phone on your nightstand?
All three of the sites I used—eharmony, Match.com, and Christian Mingle—had mobile apps. They all came with the ability to do pretty much everything I could do on the desktop. Match and Christian Mingle even gave me the option to search for singles nearby.
I might’ve liked the mobile option better because it made it easier to take screenshots of profile pics so I could, you know, send them to friends for their entertainment. After all, these are the same friends who want to pay for my online dating subscriptions just so I can entertain them with stories of bad dates or the things guys had the audacity to say to me. I knew they’d enjoy pics like the one of the shirtless guy who was lying in bed next to his ex-wife he’d cropped out of the picture. (Her shoulder and hair were still there! I can’t even…)
However, my actions also made me go back and check my own photos to be sure no guy would feel inclined to text them to his friends. In the end, the only caption I could seen him texting with my pics would be, “This chick looks like she’s pretty awesome!” (The world is really cool and kind…in my head.)
If I had to choose an app I liked best, it’s eharmony’s. It’s probably because, as I’ve mentioned before, eharmony’s approach is so much simpler than Match and Christian Mingle’s. The app is clean and easy to use because their matching method doesn’t involve the myriad of options that the other two do. You just walk through the question process and email each other until you decide to take it off the site. There’s no way to find matches nearby, check to see who’s online, do searches for matches based upon a ton of criteria. It’s just simple and clean, which is my preference.
Final Evaluation of My Online Dating Experiment:
I talked with 11 guys.
I talked seriously with 3 guys.
I went on 0 dates.
This wasn’t my first time to try out online dating, just so you know. It was more like my third or fourth go-round. It was, however, my first time to be on three sites at one time, and it was also the first time I’ve had a 3-month membership with no dates at all. (How’s that for a self-esteem builder?)
I say that because there are a lot of people—women, especially—who hear stories of online dating successes and think there’s something wrong with them when it doesn’t go well. That’s just not the case.
The bottom line is: Sometimes it works; sometimes it doesn’t.
For me, this time it didn’t. And, unfortunately, this time was the one time I had to write about each month so the public could follow along. (Again, self-esteem builder…)
I’m never going to be the girl that guys flock to. That’s just not my lot. But I’ve been on dates using online dating. Quite a few actually. And I’ve had guys ask me out for second dates. And I’ve had guys pledge their undying love to me after one date. (Clearly not the ones for me…)
So please know that if you’re trying online dating for the first time and your date card doesn’t fill up after a few days or weeks, there’s nothing wrong with you. Sometimes it works; sometimes it doesn’t.
There’s no harm in trying it out, though—unless you allow it to send you into an emotional tailspin. And if that’s the case, put on the parachute and make a quick exit because you cannot afford for that to happen. Hold your head up high and trust that you’re just as awesome as you were when you started.
Maybe somewhere down the road, like me, you’ll be ready to give it another shot.
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