I’ve entered into this place where online dating feels a bit like a part-time job. I realize that the average online dater isn’t going to be tackling 3 sites at once, but thanks to my dear friends at SingleRoots, that’s how I’m doing things at the moment.
As I type this, I have 57 new eharmony matches waiting to be explored. Hopefully I’ll have time to go through them this weekend because OMG the love of my life could be waiting for me in that list of matches!!! (Clearly I’ve reached the jaded phase of online dating…)
A little more about my second month:
And eharmony Keeps Its Lead…
I still prefer eharmony over the other 2 sites. I’m super busy these days and eharmony makes my life easier because I don’t have to seek out matches. They’re delivered to my inbox daily, or sometimes every other day. And I feel like most guys make an attempt to answer all—if not most—of the questions on eharmony so I’m better able to gauge a little more of who they really are.
Christian Mingle sends me matches, too, but most guys don’t tell you as much about themselves on a Christian Mingle profile. There’s far less emphasis on the essay questions and more about basic demographic information (smoker, body preference, job, etc.) There are essay questions on Christian Mingle, but my experience is that not many guys fill them out, so it’s more difficult to know much about the person beforehand.
I still like Match.com the least. They send me 8-10 completely random “daily matches” that don’t even come close to meeting my criteria. I’m least involved on Match because they make me work too hard to find good Christian guys.
While I like eharmony’s method the best, they’re not without flaws. I’m certain they’re sending me a good number of matches that haven’t been using the site in years. I’ve seen a lot of guys who say they are no longer paying members, but leave their profile up and offer some half-hearted, veiled attempt to slip an email address or Facebook contact information into their profile. (Hey, fellas—cheap ain’t attractive.)
So eharmony may score for sending me the closest matches to what I’m looking for, but they also get big points deducted for not allowing users to see the last time a match logged in, which is something both Christian Mingle and Match.com allow you to view.
Ain’t Nobody Got Time…
Like I mentioned earlier, this online dating thing takes time—especially if you’re using Christian Mingle or Match because you have the ability to search through their entire database of matches. However, if your search criteria are pretty strict like mine, even if you live in a city, you’ll find you can get to the end of those matches pretty quickly. Once I create a search for a guy in his thirties who doesn’t smoke, isn’t divorced, has no kids, is a Christian, attends church regularly, has a college degree, and is within 100 mile radius, suddenly Birmingham feels pretty small.
On the other hand, eharmony parses them out to me each day in a slow roll. It at least makes me feel like I’m not going to run out of matches anytime soon, even if I know that these matches include people who are no longer on the site or people who are well over 100 miles away. (Hello, matches in Illinois, Indiana, and the Carolinas. It was nice to read your profile, but I’m closing you.)
Every now and then I’ll do a search for new members on Christian Mingle, but I’m not on there daily unless I’m talking to someone. And Match.com—ugh. At least the guys are all supposed to be professing Christians on Christian Mingle.
With Match.com, I’ve got to open each profile and scroll down to see if he lists his faith as “Christian.” Then I’ve got to find his self-described match compatibility to see if he prefers to date Christian women. If he leaves it blank or includes all faiths, I know we’re probably not on the same page.
PSA: I can’t tell you the number of guys who say they want a girl who is “Christian-Protestant,” “Christian-Catholic,” “Christian-LDS,” and “Spiritual but not Religious.” Guys, “LDS” is Latter-Day Saints. They’re the Mormon church. Match.com may think that is the same as our Christianity, but it’s not. I can’t decide if guys just don’t know what it means and they see “Christian” before it and just check the box, or if they really think it’s all the same. Either way, those are not the guys for me.
Month 2 Stats:
I regret to inform you that I’ve still had no dates. I’ve talked to a number of guys, and there are a few I’ve even got a little excited about. We’ll see how they pan out.
But there was one I got excited about, and when we finally go to the email stage on eharmony, it went like this:
Him: Hi, how are you?
(This was an email, remember. Not a text. A first-time email.)
Me: I’m good, thank you. And you?
(No, sir. If you start an email, you’d better start an email. I’m not going to make it easy on you if you don’t USE YOUR WORDS.)
Him: Doing well.
(Onto the next one.)
Until next month…
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