Before we go any further into online dating tips for men, we need to say something: Men, you’re doing a good job.
Often you get a lot of flack for not “man-ing” up or playing too many video games or living in your mama’s basement or a litany of other things you’re not doing right. But honestly, we don’t know many guys like that, and we think it speaks volumes. There are so many great guys, and we think they get overshadowed by the negativity.
But, since this is a post about online dating tips for men, and since we did chat with the ladies about the same thing last week, here are a few we came up with for you guys. Just 5 little ideas to keep in mind as you search for the love of your life:
1. Be careful with the compliments.
Sure, most girls love to hear what you find attractive about them, but tread carefully. Leading with a compliment about her physical appearance when you’ve hardly gotten to know her can be a bit alarming. Women want to know you’re attracted to them for more than their physical beauty because, let’s face it, beauty fades. Of course it’s okay to tell her she’s beautiful—and you should! Lots of times!—but leading off with that, when you’ve only seen a handful of pictures of her online, can make you come across as a bit eager.
2. Show Your True Self
We’ve told the ladies, too, be careful with the profile pics. Guys, the days of the bathroom mirror selfies must end now. Same goes for the front-seat-of-the-car selfies. We’ve heard girls say they automatically close profiles for those kind of pics—and they’re not being shallow, they just can’t see themselves dating a guy who will stand shirtless (or shirt-ed) in front of the bathroom mirror, take multiple photos of himself, and then post them online. Can you blame them? We can’t.
3. Use your voice to ask her out.
Sure, this is an online thing. You’re going to email back and forth, you might chat online, and you’re probably going to text message each other, that’s the nature of online dating. But when you ask her out, call her. It is just good form, and it sets you apart from the other guys who are hiding behind the written word. You know the old saying, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression”? That rings true when you meet a girl online, except the first impression is three-fold: the first email you send her, the first time you talk to her on the phone, and the first date. All of those things combined make her first impression of you. Not calling her to ask her out speaks volumes about your confidence level and/or your manners. Some girls might be okay with an email invitation, but most want to hear your voice before agreeing to go out with you.
4. Choose your first date location wisely.
The goal is to get to know her. However, one less-often discussed aspect of the first date is how you’re the one paying for it. And, if you’re dating online very long, that can get expensive. So remember: You don’t have to spend a lot of money on the first date. You don’t have to show up bearing flowers. You don’t have to pay for orchestra-level seating at the theatre. It doesn’t make you cheap; it makes you sensible. She’s not judging how much money you can spend on her; she’s judging whether she wants to see you ever again. Coffee is fine, dinner is good, drinks are sufficient—anywhere you can talk with her is the goal. If it seems like you might want to know her better, then you can spend more money and roll out the red carpet on subsequent dates.
5. Exit the date shrewdly.
No, this doesn’t mean leave her with the check. What it does mean is to check out her non-verbals. How comfortable is she with you? Is she as “into” you as you are to her? Is she new to online dating? Is she still nervous about the process? We applaud that your father and Boaz taught you how to treat a lady, and we love that you want to be a gentleman and walk her to her car, but in the world of online dating, sometimes that’s a bit much at the end of the first date. Just use discernment and gauge her comfort level before taking that walk, or you might find yourself tazed!
What other online dating tips for men would you suggest?
Photo credit: Thomas