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Dear Eve:: Christian Dating Advice about Cats

Brandon Howard

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Brandon Howard

[Disclaimer: This new Sunday night post is meant to be a humorous feature that attempts to poke fun at some of the stereotypes and issues that arise in the dating world. If sarcasm isn’t your thing, you might want to stop reading now…]

I think for as long as I live, I will always be completely perplexed at some girls’ love of cats.

Single ladies, if you want the best possible chance at scoring a good man, get rid of your furry Fifi and instantly your dateability will go way up. Before you get angry, just stop and think for a second.

rsz_cat_lady

Let’s see…you’re single, and you live alone with your cat(s). When you’re bored, often times you will post Facebook pictures about said cats and/or status updates about your love for them.

Do you know what a negative cliche that is for men?
Do you want to date the guy that wears a beer helmet and stuffs coins in his belly button at parties? I didn’t think so.

Guys don’t want to date the Crazy Cat Lady no matter how nice you are.

How many normal men have you met that own any pets other than dogs? If they have a feline in their homestead, my guess is they’re either married and have been beaten into submission by their cat-loving spouse (which is fine – after he puts the ring on, you have him right where you want him) or their Friday nights typically consist of Totinos pizza rolls and the Season 2 boxed set of Battlestar Galatica.

And this doesn’t even take into account that about half the population is massively allergic to cats.

Why would you own something that ignores you, turns men off to you, and causes half of your friends to break out into evil sneezing episodes? It just doesn’t make sense.

Find an old single lady that owns ten cats. Give her yours. Everybody wins.

 

If you want to have a serious discussion on relationships, head over here. We can be serious, too…

 

*Photo credit: flossyflotsam

Filed Under: Humor, Online Dating Humor, Dear Adam/Dear Eve, Christian Dating Advice Tagged With: cats, dating, Dear Adam/Dear Eve, popular

Brandon Howard

Until he figures out what he wants to do when he grows up, Brandon works in sales. He's a fledgling foodie with a penchant for making a mess in the kitchen or on himself and a sports enthusiast with a tendency to get really excited at the mere mention of "Texas Rangers." His guilty pleasures include bacon cheese burgers, Sonice cherry cream Dr. Pepper's, and wrestling with his terrier mutt, Oliver. After years of perfecting the craft of bachelorhood, Brandon asked his friend, Carrie, to coffee. However, he forgot to tell her it was a date, and he wore way too much cologne. Eventually he married her, proving God really does perform miracles. You can follow Brandon on Twitter @WBrandonHoward.

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