[Disclaimer: The Dear Adam/Eve series is meant to be a humorous feature that attempts to poke fun at some of the stereotypes and issues that arise in the dating world. If sarcasm isn’t your thing, you might want to stop reading now…]
I was raised in the South where manners and chivalry aren’t the exception—they’re the rule. In the same South, where people still refer to Emily Post’s Blue Book of Etiquette, the rule book for how civilized people should behave in a polite society. So yeah, I’m pretty familiar with etiquette. I know to never accept a weekend date when asked after a Wednesday, I don’t call boys, and I expect men to instinctively know that their place when strolling down the sidewalk with a lady is on the side nearest the street.
Now, I realize that there are extremes and not everyone was raised with dear Emily’s guide to life readily available on their bookshelf at home. Luckily for me, the majority of the guys I know at least put forth a good effort to get things right, which does not go unnoticed. But there’s always that one… the guy left scratching his head wondering what all the fuss is about. This one’s for you, good sir.
I believe there are certain standards that society (and not just Emily Post) has held onto well into the 21st century, even to the point of sounding cliché. Things such as calling to ask for a date (or asking face-to-face), ringing the doorbell when arriving to pick up your date, dressing appropriately for the occasion, and offering to pay for the date.
Things that are not acceptable are:
- Texting/emailing/tweeting/Facebook messaging to ask for a date.
- Honking your horn to let your date know you’ve arrived.
- Wearing whatever wrinkled disaster you picked up off the floor (then smelled and deemed good enough to wear).
- Turning into a cheapskate on the date for which you planned by paying with a gift card or suggesting you “go Dutch.”
I know, I know–there are exceptions to every rule. Perhaps she’s expressed her preferred method of communication is through Twitter only? Highly unlikely, but perhaps it’s the case. Although, I would have to say this excuse reeks highly of a brush-off…
Perhaps you have one of those musical “La Cucaracha” car horns, thereby making your horn-honking more endearing than annoying to the girl and her neighbors. Although, I seriously doubt anyone would find that endearing.
Maybe the night you have planned actually requires the use of your light-washed jeans, hooded sweatshirt, and white high-top tennis shoes. But it shouldn’t. Ever.
And maybe – just maybe – your date will find herself attracted to your savvy frugality once she notices you whipping out the gift card your mom gave you for Christmas. But that’s a long shot—much like your odds for a second date.
Honestly, if you can’t pull it together for the first date, you’re not really giving us ladies much to work with or look forward to. Manners, good grooming, and a little thing called common sense will go a long way in securing a second (third, fourth) date.
In turn, we as females will try to be kind, prompt, well dressed, and verbally appreciative in reward for the efforts you put forth. Because yes, it is a two-way street.
A wedding and commercial photographer for the past 7 years, Linda Spratt remembers that her childhood dreams always consisted of the power to fly or to be invisible–dreams that showed problematic signs of staying within the boundaries of reality. Maybe that’s why her first drive home from college resulted in her arrest and a couple of hours of jail time. Linda loves all kinds of music, except country, and will travel to cities near and far to have her face rocked off by Muse, her favorite band of all. When it comes to people in the Bible, she is most drawn to Peter because of his well-meaning impetuousness; she wishes she had a fraction of his zeal for the Lord. Linda prefers her Sonic cherry cokes with easy ice, dislikes every other person in WalMart while she’s trying to shop, and once worked for a national franchise that specializes in dog poop removal (they were #1 in the #2 business). You can follow her on Twitter @lindaspratt.
*Photo credit: AngryJulieMonday