Dating deal breakers. Non-negotiables. Red flags. Call them whatever you want to call them, but we all have them.
He must be in touch with his emotional side.
She can’t be overly emotional.
Dungeons and Dragons, WWE wrestling, and Star Trek conventions = no.
She likes weekends on the deer stand and will let me hang my hunting trophies around the house.
He’s manly enough to not be afraid to get pedicures with me.
She doesn’t ask me to get pedicures with her.
And of course, there is much to learn from Liz Lemon on the matter:
In an age of online dating and prolonged singleness, some of us can get a bit ridiculous about what we will and will not stand for. But most of the time, the “dating deal breaker” conversations we have with our friends are more tongue-in-cheek than realistic.
Which leads us to wonder, besides the obvious growing relationship with Christ, what other real deal breakers do you have? Because, as we all know, change is possible, but we don’t seriously date someone for who they can be, we date them because we are attracted to who they are.
We’ve had more than a few conversations here among the SingleRoots Team about the red flags that might signify it’s time for us to move on. For example:
If the person you’re dating is too political or too apolitical for your level of involvement, it could get ugly. (Spoken from experience.)
If the person you’re dating loves to travel or, conversely, is a homebody, then someone is going to be terribly dissatisfied.
Or, can someone be too…Texan? The answer is a resounding yes. If you’re not a Texas import like we are, then you might not understand, but trust us on this one. If you dare to think that the 49 other states and 6 other continents that exist outside of the Lone Star state are all equal in God’s eyes, then this one can indeed be a deal breaker. (However, if you’re a proud second, third, or twentieth generation Texan who is insulted, we promise we love you and the Republic. We just probably shouldn’t date you.)
We had a friend who, for years, listed her deal breakers as:
- He must not be more than 2 years above or below her age.
- He must have at least one tattoo, preferably sleeves.
- He cannot be shorter than me. (She was 5’11”.)
- He must love Jesus more than me.
We laughed the hardest when she started seriously dating a guy who barely made it to her height, was 3 years older than her, and had nary a tattoo (and no intentions of ever getting one). But he loved Jesus a lot.
And in the end, we all agreed that was the most important thing.
What are your legit dating deal breakers? (Loving Jesus is a given.) We’re talking about the ones you know wouldn’t mesh well with you, your personality, your interests, your quirks, and eccentricities. Share them in the comments below.
Photo credit: Rutger Van Waveren
