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Dear Adam :: Christian Dating Advice on Being Assertive

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We need you to actually ask us out, guys.

Dear Adam,
In case you didn’t know, as a whole, you’re a rare species. We want to date you. There’s a problem though.

We do our part—we giggle and flirt. We’re committed to the whole “Modest is Hottest” thing, so we even have to get a little creative with our flirting. The conservative dames don’t even think about showing any “church cleavage.”

But listen gents, there is only so much shimmery lip gloss a well-mannered, Christian girl can schmear on. You are really going to have to step up and just start asking us out. I love you guys, but if you ever want to find a lady friend who will stick around, please stop pouting and just call the girl.

We want you to be more assertive. We want you to put as much effort into pursuing us as you put into your Fantasy Football team. If you like us or think we are fun, nice, pretty, etc., then ask us out.

Yes, on a date.

Here are 3 things you need to remember about a date with us:

1. You don’t have to treat every date like it’s a “Spouse Test.”
You do not have to know by the end of every date whether or not I am your future wife. Okay, we know we are both Christians and, of course, our reasons for dating should be different than those who aren’t Christians. We know our ultimate purpose for dating truly is to eventually get to know the person that God has for us to marry. But listen guys, the whole “What’s your 5-year plan?” may be a good question to get to know someone but a pop quiz just makes us uncomfortable.

Don’t get me wrong, talking about the future is a good thing. Just don’t quiz us. You may not think it’s obvious, but ladies can totally tell when you are testing us to see if we are the one lucky lady who will one day have the pleasure hauling your 2 kids to Awanas on a Wednesday evening in the family’s Honda Odyssey.

2. It doesn’t have to be a candlelight dinner.
The question on the first date should not be whether we want steak fries or curly fries from Arby’s. But not every single date, including the first, has to be a serious and romantic candlelight-esque dinner where we have to watch you try to figure out which fork to use. It can be fun and lighthearted. Manners still apply, but as long as we are somewhere we can both have fun, most great girls will be happy campers.

3. Dates are a great classroom.
Men and women can learn so much from each other. Whether it’s learning how to trust the opposite sex again or learning to chill out and have a good time with a new friend, sitting across from one another at dinner can teach you a lot. Some of the best conversations and laughs I’ve had have been on relaxed, no pressure dates.

Christian guys, we think you are great. But we are really going to need you to man-up.

Ask us out.

We know it can be intimidating and some of us will say no. It’s totally risky.

But trust me, some of us are actually worth the risk.

 

 

 

A full-time student at the University of North Texas, Alicia Rose Fox also holds several part-time jobs. She has an appreciation for good looking men (i.e. Bradley Cooper), Pinterest, a great purse, and a concealer that works wonders. Knowing all of that, you probably wouldn’t believe it, but she’s an avid reader and she even enjoys listening to TED talks. Alicia Rose thinks the best thing about being single is not being tied down to one specific location leaving her to do whatever she wants. You can follow her on Twitter @aliciarosefox.

 

Photo credit: Sasha W

Filed Under: Humor, Online Dating Humor, Dear Adam/Dear Eve Tagged With: assertive, Christian Dating Advice, Dear Adam/Dear Eve

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If you are interesting in sharing your thoughts on SingleRoots, please email us at contact@singleroots.com. You can see a list of contributing writers' posts by clicking on the link above.

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