According to the Internet, dating is getting both easier and more difficult. Online dating creates a pool of candidates that traditional dating can hardly touch. Yet that huge group of strangers are just that–strangers–and it can be tricky to weed out the ones who aren’t worth your time. Christian dating sites make it a lot easier to find a match, but it also means that many people jump into relationships with people they don’t know very well.
Instead of going in blindfolded, here are 5 spiritual questions to ask your date. They are a simple way to find out more about the person across the table and to avoid that awkward moment of not knowing what to talk about. Just make sure you don’t turn it into an interrogation!
1. “Do you go to church or Bible studies?”
When you’re little, going to church can feel like a chore, especially if you grew up with parents like mine who demanded fancy clothes and perfect behavior. But asking your date if they go to church regularly can tell you a lot about their priorities. Hebrews 10:24-25 tells us to meet up and encourage one another, and there are many other instances in the Bible where it urges Christians to gather together to worship. If you love church and the people in it, do you want to date someone who doesn’t seem to care about it?
2. “How did you become a Christian?”
The answer to this question is generally complex, and for some it may even result in a life story told through the lens of faith. Knowing the story of your date’s faith can hint at things to come, as well as instigate some deep theological discussions. It can also tell you a lot about the person’s family and whether they are supportive or not of your match’s faith. Thankfully, a few Christian dating sites ask about one’s faith history, so some of this information could be provided but there’s always more to follow up on.
3. “What’s your prayer life like?”
We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t look up at the sky every once in a while and ask, “Why??” but it’s a completely different matter to continually seek out God’s counsel. Praying constantly can bring a peaceful joy that is hardly attainable through those random cries for help. People who pray regularly are less stressed and may even live longer than those who don’t. But outside of that, knowing a person prays every day shows you they are working on getting closer to God, and they are choosing to grow when they could remain stagnant.
4. “What do you think God is like?”
Perception can mean a world of difference. I’ve met some Christians who don’t actually think God is very powerful, and there are others who are so afraid of him that they constantly fear making a wrong move. Whether your date focuses on the Protector (Deuteronomy 20:4), the Forgiver (Nehemiah 9:17), or the Peacemaker (Romans 15:33), these answers can give you great insights. Dressing God in your own restraining perspective is never a very good idea, and dating someone who is afraid of the Lightning Bolt of Judgment can often be more of a struggle than the relationship is worth.
5. “What do you think of other Christians?”
This question could technically go back to the first question, yet it can reveal a lot more. Once you get in this line of conversation you can find out if your date tends to be more Baptist or Lutheran or if they even like spending time around other believers. If you hate your fellow believers, what does that say about your heart? Make sure your date has a healthy view of other Christians. We’re all messed up and we all make mistakes, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be kind and forgiving.
Honestly, there are all sorts of other spiritual questions you can and should ask your online match.
What are some other questions you use to learn more about your match’s relationship with Christ?
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