Are You Wandering Aimlessly?

Do you have a God-given vision for your life, or are you wandering aimlessly until you get married?

On the first date we are presented with questions that ask about our future. Right from the start, prospective mates want to know if your vision will complement theirs. Common questions asked are:

Where do you see yourself in five years?
What are your professional goals?
What ministries do you see yourself becoming more involved in?

Previous to being single and satisfied, I was single and highly frustrated.

I had no vision. My daily aspirations were frantic about getting married. In other words, I only wanted to be a part of someone else’s vision. Being married is where I saw myself in five years. Becoming a parent was my professional goal, and I wanted my spouse and children to be my ministry. My so-called “vision” was narrow and unbalanced, which explains why I remained frustrated.

Five years came and went, and I was still single. Another five years passed and still there was not a need to attend the annual bridal show in town. (Although I admit, I went anyway.) Nevertheless, I sat myself down and had a long, deep discussion without allowing the topic of marriage to take the lead.

Did I have a vision for myself alone? Did I realize my purpose in life? God predestined my life before I was formed in my mother’s womb. Surely God has not allowed me to go on unmarried so I could sit and do nothing. What could I contribute to the world? How was I going to utilize the gifts and talents God had given me?

From that day forward I knew it was time that I sought God for my own vision. This was essential for me to do while I was single and could focus on God alone. I have heard stories about husbands and wives who married without first “finding themselves.” They became unsettled because soon after the marriage was established, they desired a vision that extended beyond their family but the time to make their vision first priority was not always there. That is not to say that it cannot be done; however, life after marriage becomes more complex.

Do we need a vision? Yes! Without a vision, we perish. I needed insight of God’s plan for me so I would no longer be wandering aimlessly through life with no sense of self. Not only did I need a vision for my life, but the purpose and vision God has for me would enhance the vision of my future spouse!

So where did I begin? My starting line was prayer. I talked with God more than I ever had before. As inspired direction came, I wrote my vision down. Continuing in prayer, God reassured me of His unconditional love. I felt secure enough in God’s love to power forward with His plan, even if marriage was not currently a part of it.

God took a cupful of my talents, added dashes of my interests and passions, and mixed it all in with a good helping of His divine will. Then, there I stood with a vision to call my own. I became so consumed with educating myself, making plans, and networking with wonderful people who shared my vision that frustration turned into satisfaction. My life was rewarding. My life mattered. I was making a difference.

When I went on the first date with the man who is my husband today, he was highly impressed with my enthusiasm and the life I was living. Establishing my vision was necessary to find fulfillment, walk in God’s plan to help others, and establish my place in this world.

The blessing of marriage and family would be the icing on the cake, not the whole cake. Thank God for vision.



Candra Evans is a native of Kentucky and currently resides in Cincinnati, Ohio. She began blogging and podcasting in 2008. In 2011 she launched her web site for Christian singles, Love and Grace. She is passionate about young people and serving the drama ministry as a playwright. Candra is also an avid runner and lover of the great outdoors. You can follow her on Twitter @candraevans.

*Photo credit: Natesh Ramasamy

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  • Yasmine

    Amen on this post Candra! I have a question – how does one know if it’s inspired direction or self-desired direction? How do you know that it seems as though you were meant to do is coming from God and not from you? I’m having difficulty with this at the moment. I feel as though I’m meant to go in a specific professional direction based on what three folks told me since last year and this week. The problem is, I honestly don’t know if this particular profession (which I have a passion for) is what God wants for my life despite people urging me to open up my own business in this field, or if it’s something I want for my life because I love it and I know I can do well in it. I also know that I can use it as a ministry but again, how does one know if this is one calling out of many, or THE calling, or simply what I want to believe is my calling but really isn’t. Hope this makes sense 🙂

    • Candra Evans

      Great question! My answer comes from experience and I’m sure others will offer their insights as well. In my opinion an inspired calling from God and your personal desired goals and passions do not necessarily contradict each other. I have a cousin who has been called to the preaching ministry yet they still have a personal desire to open a chain of book stores. I believe that God can anoint and fulfill both visions. The inspired call from God to a particular work or ministry often comes with confirmation. It will fall in line with scriptures also. Many believe that an inspired call from God will be like a pressing on your heart. It stays on your mind, and you find confident peace when you accept it. You may even find yourself in some aspects already performing it on some level. I realized that helping singles was one of several ministries that God desired for me to be a part of. The evidence has been the gratification I feel in obeying His will and the fruit of the labor. Every email, tweet, or comment that says thank you or keep up the good work, lets me know that this is not in vain. God will stamp His approval on the work as you perform it. Mostly like God will lead you to do many things and work in many areas of His vineyard. And He is such a wonderful and kind God, that often His will for our life will line up with our interests and passions…as if He has already built them into us to prepare us for our vision.  Most importantly stay prayerful every step of the way. It doesn’t hurt to ask God to help you be sure. He answers prayer faithfully. The Bible says that without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed. Spiritual leaders are able to help guide us and can offer confirmation. Hope at least some of this helps! 🙂