From the title of this post, I bet you think this is going to be about sex & purity.
Sorry to disappoint you.
I got married a few years ago. My bride and I were both a little late to hop on the marriage train. For whatever reason, God didn’t have us meet until we were both in our 30s. Consequently, we both had over a decade and a half of being independent adults.
We had a choice to be doing one of two things financially during that time: staying out of debt or being normal and digging deeper with each passing year.
By God’s grace, we exchanged vows that March as debt-free virgins — definitely not normal.
(Did I just coin a sexy new label? And did I just buy debtfreevirgins.com to exploit this label at some point in the future? Yes and Yes.)
Back to my point…
As much as bringing our virginity into the new marriage meant to each of us, not bringing financial baggage turned out to be just as important.
As a single person, I read tons of books on preparing myself spiritually, emotionally and physically for marriage, but not many resources told me all the benefits of preparing myself financially.
I’ve been married a whopping 3 years now, but it didn’t take long to see the benefits of both of us coming into this thing debt-free.
As I started the pursuing, dating, and now marriage process, there are 5 benefits I’ve seen result from getting my finances in order while I was still single:
1. There is instant sex appeal.
Having a label of “debt-free” instantly makes you more attractive to the person you’re seriously dating. Don’t get me started on how sexy it is to add, “And I have savings.” A word of caution: Use wisdom when it’s appropriate to discuss finances in a relationship. Being debt-free is your icing on the cake, your ace-in-the-hole. (Translation: Don’t bring your income statement on the first date.)
2. You are showing your potential future spouse that you have some key traits:
- Self-discipline—As a single person, you’re the sole decision maker with your finances, and being debt-free shows that know how to say “no” to yourself.
- Endurance—Being debt-free, shows you’ve been a good decision maker for a long time. Why would you stop after you’re married?
3. You are showing your future spouse that you’ve been considering them (and your potential children) before you’ve even met them.
4. There’s no guilt, bitterness or resentment of who brought more debt to the marriage.
And if you bring in zero and they bring in…well…more than zero, at least you didn’t add to the number. You’ll give your new spouse grace and bring your financial testimony to give your marriage the hope it needs to be debt-free someday.
5. Lastly—and the most fun—you can spend the first few months of your marriage discussing your future financial goals instead of spending that time despairing about your future financial pit.
So if your future spouse just read this post, how do you hope they would respond?
Of course, you’d want them to start getting their financial “house” in order as soon as possible. It would be nice to marry someone who is debt-free, right?
Now don’t expect someone to do something you’re not willing to do yourself.