I just got through the holidays. If I had a dime for how many times I was asked if I was in a relationship, I’d have a lot of dimes. Not enough to do much, but enough to buy myself a nice dinner and a movie date for my imaginary boyfriend and me.
Generally—and by generally, I mean always—my answer to, “Are you dating anyone?” is: “Nope, not right now.”
To which I get the comment, “You think you’re too picky?”
I’ve always wondered what the appropriate response is to that question? So far, I’ve settled on a slight grimace and a “Maybe.” However, the reality is, at this point I’m just looking for a guy who loves Jesus and is gainfully employed.
Maybe I should remove the word “gainfully” in front of employed. I used to not want to date a Colombian drug lord, but perhaps I am being too picky. Or maybe I should just remove “employed” altogether.
I could be someone’s sugar mama. And then I think about that life and I get nauseous and would rather be alone with the cats that I don’t have.
I think I get to be picky. And I think just in general, as single Christian girls, we get to be picky.
So what are the things I think we should get to be picky about? Let’s make a list! Because I love lists.
The Person I Date Must:
1. Be Physically Attractive (to me). I’m pretty sure Michelle Dugger didn’t get 19 kids by thinking Jim Bob was repulsive. Just saying. Be fruitful and multiply. But, what I’m attracted to, other people might not be. For example: I love gingers. I want some redheaded babies. Ron Weasley? Macklemore? Prince Harry? Sign me up. You might not be into that, but I am, so back off.
2. Have a Job. Get a job. Be responsible. Pay bills. Buy soap. Starbucks Barista or Investment Banker, it doesn’t really matter. Just bring your most recent paystub to our first date.
3. Be Chivalrous. I used to know how to open doors, but as soon as our date started I suddenly forgot how. I also became unable to pay for my dinner, incapable of pulling out my own chair, and I’ll forget your phone number until you call me first.
4. Pursue Me. The man is the mighty hunter, and I am the majestic gazelle. The gazelle doesn’t chase the hunter unless it wants a bullet lodged in its brain! And the hunter gets bored in that scenario. It’s a lose-lose situation. No fun for the hunter and death for the Gazelle.
5. Love Dogs. Because I love dogs and shared interests are a must. You don’t love dogs; I don’t love you.
So there you go. Be picky. You deserve it. Why?
Because you’re awesome.
About Claire Wyatt: Claire Wyatt is the author of the blog Single Christian Girls and has been happily single for 26 years. When not writing her blog, she works in Finance and is studying to get a few letters after her name. She loves Jesus, the NFL and shopping.
Photo credit: Lisa Smiley