Singles are notorious for not committing to the local church. No-tor-ious. They feel slighted and like an afterthought. And while it makes us sad that it feels like the church places a higher emphasis on marriage than it does singleness, we are seeing this tide turn and we’re hopeful for the future.
One thing we do know, though, is not committing to a local church is not optional. So singles groups aren’t your thing? Okay, that’s fine, but keep fighting to find your place. The Church needs singles just as much as singles need Her.
SingleRoots Writers Say…
For wise counsel, we asked some of our SingleRoots alumni writers to weigh in on the matter. Here’s what they had to say:
“You have to go where God tells you and commit when He tells you to. Do they preach the Word with love? Is there opportunity for you to be held accountable and dig deeper into the word thru small groups? Are you closer to God or motivated to seek Him more when you leave? Then just commit and see what divine appointments God has for you in that church. It’s not about how the church meets your needs and wants. It’s about what God’s doing in the church, and if you are willing to join Him with the gifts He’s given you for that work.”
::Stacy Conville, interviewee for Single and…Living with an Illness
“This is really difficult, single or married. There’s always a ‘the grass is always greener’ factor in church hopping. Still, if you’re new to an area, do your research. Church hop and see what’s out there, but forget finding the perfect scenario. Identify a body of believers that you feel comfortable with yet aren’t surrounded by people interested in staying stagnant or compromising the Gospel. Pray about it. Volunteer a couple times a month. You’ll find your home.”
::W. Brandon Howard, author of When It Feels Like Your Joy is Held Captive
“For me, if a church didn’t feel like home and I couldn’t see myself investing my life in relationships and serving there, then that place wasn’t for me. If there is uncertainty, find a small group to check out or a ministry to get involved in. Those will either draw you in to commit or push you away.”
::Brooke Corcoran, author of What a Difference a Decade Makes: Thoughts on Waiting for Your Spouse
Explore the Topic Further…
For further discussion on committing to a church, check out these posts:
What If I Don’t Like the Single’s Ministry at My Church? – “So here’s the deal: You don’t have to be part of a singles group. But you do need to be actively connected to a local Body of believers. (Hey, it’s Biblical. Read the New Testament. Any of it. All of it.) However you choose to connect is between you and the Holy Spirit.”
Single and…Helping Plant a Church – “We Americans are so used to being able to select our way into social circles—even within the church—where the people within share our interests or our passions or our life stage. In a small congregation that doesn’t have those kind of community-shopping options, you’re forced to die to yourself and go beyond the normal, surface level types of friendships.”
The Struggle to Find My Place in the Church – “I love the Body fiercely, flaws and all. I love that it’s the imperfect vehicle God has chosen to reach the world. It’s because of my deep love for it that I didn’t just give up my search. But the reality is sometimes finding your place in the church is not for the faint of heart.”
My Community :: Thinking Outside the Box – “Yes, we talk about community a lot. And yes, we will continue to. We believe it’s biblical for everyone. But for the single adult, we know how hard it is to fight for it when you’re all alone. We’re just doing our part to keep encouraging you that your life was not meant to be lived alone.”