As we began this SingleRoots journey, we were blessed by many of our married friends who supported and prayed for us. So many times we hear from them that the things we publish on the site are not just for single people and how they, too, have been encouraged by what they’ve read.
Recently we received an email from a married couple asking us how marrieds can serve singles in the church. We were so grateful for this couple’s heart. Truth be told, it caused us to step away from the computer and take a moment to praise the Lord for how He’s building up His Body—all parts of it.
How can marrieds serve singles in today’s church?
It seems like such a simple question, doesn’t it?
We could’ve rattled off a few, quick answers but we felt like this was the kind of question that deserves more thought, so we asked several of our SingleRoots writers to share their ideas. What emerged from their responses were 7 ways married adults could minister to singles in the church:
1. Include us in your circle of friends.
So often the church segregates us. Sure, we want a strong base of single friends, but we want to be friends with everyone. If we were co-workers, you would probably be our friend regardless of our marital status, so why not be our friend at church, too? We want to learn more about marriage and children by watching you with yours.
2. Invite us over for dinner.
This answer came up several times. No, we’re not poor college students who love free food (actually, who doesn’t love free food?), but cooking meals for one and having leftovers for days isn’t all that fun. We love hanging out in your home with your family, too.
3. Make yourself available for accountability or mentoring.
If you’re older than us, then we’d love for you to share your wisdom by mentoring us. If you need an accountability partner, consider us. Marital status doesn’t have to be a factor for either of these roles.
4. Be discerning when talking with us.
Sometimes we want to talk about our singleness, sometimes we want to be set up on a blind date, sometimes we want to hear about how God brought you the love of your life after waiting two years, but sometimes we don’t. And we always need your encouragement, not your shame. Can we make a deal? We promise to talk about other things besides our relationships (or lack thereof), if you promise to just ask us how we’re doing, listen, and respond with discernment.
5. Keep tabs on us at church.
Ask us to sit with your family, and check on us when we’re not there. It can be difficult to sometimes to force ourselves to build community. When people reach out to us, regardless of marital status, it helps tremendously.
6. Remember us when you’re planning church activities.
Don’t make everything about marriage and families and then throw in a sentence about singleness to appease us. It makes us feel like an afterthought. And while we’re on the subject of church activities, we like having the option of being in a small group with married couples or gender-specific ones. Again, we want to be more connected to the greater Body and not just the people who are our age and single.
7. Pray for us.
We appreciate your prayers for our future spouse, but please pray that our lives will bring glory to God and we will grow in our relationship with Him. We commit to praying for you and your family, too.
We are truly blessed by our married friends—and even more so when they are intentional about serving the singles community in their local churches. We are ever so thankful for their friendship, their love, and their heart for ministering to us.