I went on a 9-hour road trip with one of my best friends recently, which means 9 hours of conversation about everything that is right and wrong with the world. On our journey, we read aloud 2 of Relevant Magazine’s articles: 20 Things Every Twentysomething Should Know How to Do and The Before You’re 40 Bucketlist.
After determining that we’d accomplished 15 of the 20 things we’re supposed to do before 40, and wholeheartedly agreeing with the things a twentysomething should know, our conversation turned to singleness.
While we certainly wouldn’t call our list definitive, as thirtysomethings who are single, we consider ourselves pseudo-authorities on the matter. And really, who doesn’t need another list post? Here’s what we came up with:
- It’s okay to be the third wheel. Otherwise, you’re going to miss out on a lot.
- You should know how to volunteer your time—not too much, not too little.
- Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you can’t find intimacy in relationships.
- You can still invest in the lives of children, even if they’re not your own.
- Think outside your comfort zone when it comes to dating. People have found the love of their life while utilizing online dating, going on blind dates, and yes, even speed dating.
- You should know how to make good financial decisions. Read, ask questions, hire someone—there’s so much information out there, ignorance is no excuse.
- Marriage doesn’t define you, if you’re single or married. Your job doesn’t define you either.
- You don’t have to be a gourmet chef, but you should know your way around your kitchen.
- Get good people on your team. Find people who will help you become strong in areas where you are weak.
- You are qualified to be a leader, even if you don’t have a spouse.
- You don’t always have to be the leader, either.
- You don’t always have to be a leader in the children’s or youth ministry just to be a part of the local church.
- Bad dates make good stories.
- You should know how to negotiate. Job contracts, car buying, house bidding, dealing with people in general. You should learn the art of give and take.
- It’s important to find an adventure buddy.
- You should know what it’s like to commit—to people, to the church, to tasks—and not hold out until the conditions are perfect.
- Married people need single friends. Singles need married friends.
- You should know that if you don’t do it, no one else will—not your car inspection, not scrubbing your toilets, not saying you’re sorry.
- It is possible to attend a wedding and truly be happy for people.
- There’s a difference between rest and laziness.
- How the church views or treats singles is not going to change if all you do is complain about it behind the scenes. Be an agent of change.
- You should know the adventures you want to take.
- Being single doesn’t mean you are without a family.
- You should know a good doctor, a good dentist, and a good mechanic and see them regularly.
- Yeah, you’re scared. Do it anyway.
What would you add to the list? What are other important things singles need to know?
Note: Our friend Sundi Jo contributed #1 and our other friend Jeff contributed #3. Just giving credit where credit is due.
