Be it one roommate or multiples, there really isn’t a one-size-fits-all answers for singles on whether or not they should have a roommate (or two or three). Like anything in life, it’s important to examine your motivation for refusing to get a roommate…or, in some cases, for acquiring one.
Here are a few questions to honestly ask yourself:
- Are you trying to avoid having someone know what you’re doing? If so, why?
- Are there areas of sin where you struggle and it would be helpful to have someone in your home that could hold you accountable in that area?
- Is it better financial stewardship of your resources if you were to live with people?
- Does your pride prevent you from getting a roommate because you don’t want people to think you can’t afford to live alone?
- Do you think you need roommates because you’re afraid of being alone?
- Do you refuse to get a roommate because you’re of a certain age and you’re concerned others might question your sexuality if they saw you living with someone of the same sex?
SingleRoots Writers Say…
For wise counsel, we asked some of our SingleRoots alumni writers to weigh in on the matter. Here’s what they had to say:
“While I don’t think there is a universal answer for this, in general I would say yes—for sure. From my own experience the worst I’ve done has been when I lived alone. Having a roommate or two creates a couple of things: First, you have to get along with and interact—or reconcile when you don’t—over and over again. It’s good for us. It creates instant community, even if it’s not deep. It also adds to accountability. If you’re not having a roommate, I’d give one or two other friends the keys to your place and give them permission to show up any time. This is for both accountability and safety.”
::Justin Campbell, author of Marriage: Are You In It to Win It?
“Absolutely!! As a newlywed, I think the adjustment of sharing your space with someone is not such a shock when you’ve always lived with roomies. My husband and I had to get used to each other, but it was definitely offset by having shared living quarters with others for all of our twenties and thirties. Living alone isn’t all bad, but living in Christian community is far better.”
::Brooke Corcoran, author of What a Difference a Decade Makes: Thoughts on Waiting for Your Spouse
“I would consider it if I were you, but it also depends on your season of life. Living with roommates during college and for several years afterwards helped me learn to be more flexible, to identify my bad habits, and to have community. My goal was to eventually get married, and it helped get me ready for that. I also lived for several years alone and thoroughly enjoyed never questioning if my deli meat was going to disappear.”
::W. Brandon Howard, author of What If I’m Single Just Because I’m Single?
Explore the Topic Further…
For further discussion on living with roommates and singleness, check out these posts:
Why I Live with People — “Living with people may not cure self-addiction, but it does frustrate self-centered living. Conflict erupts – sometimes more than we’d like to admit – but in that tension, I’ve experienced iron sharpening iron (Prov. 27:17).”
Because I Don’t Like to Ask for Help — “There is much merit to the argument that says we shouldn’t live alone. Living with roommates or family teaches us interdependence and helps curb selfishness.”
What Singleness Has Taught Me :: Lessons From a Broken Washing Machine — “In the garden, humans were dependent on each other and on God. Singleness has made me live this truth out. Whether it is asking a roommate for help or searching the world ‘round for a few strong men, my days are full of seeing my own need and often having to be dependent on others to help meet them.”
Thinking Real Life Starts When I Get Married — “I was 27 years old moving from an apartment with one single roommate to a house with three single women. I felt like I was moving backward. It was disheartening.”
What are your thoughts on living with a roommate? Share your insight in the comments below.