{Tuesday, 8:01 am}
“Hello?”
“Michael?”
“Yeah…who wants to know?”
“Michael, my name is Brandon Howard. I’m a licensed insurance agent responding to your online healthcare inquiry…”
“Don’t even waste your breath! I am so sick and tired of getting insurance phone calls from you crooks! I’m sending my lawyers after you if you don’t take me off your call list right now! How do you even look at yourself in the mirror in the morning?” *click*
Only 8 hours and 149 more calls to go.
Nearly 12 years ago, as I stood in front of a thousand people during my high school graduation and delivered the Salutatorian address, peddling insurance in a call center at age 30 wasn’t exactly on my list of lifelong dreams. Not that there is anything wrong with it, I just felt like I was bigger…better…smarter. That all came crashing down over the next several years as my confidence was built on a shaky foundation.
Today, I wake up and go to a job that I find less than fulfilling making a wage that I feel is less than what I should be making, yet I count it all joy. God has been so merciful and good to me, despite momentary circumstances.
At the end of Jonah chapter 2, Jonah finally finds himself on dry land after spending three days inside of a giant fish. While the Bible doesn’t go into details, I have to imagine that Jonah looked, smelled, and felt a little bit like a mound of crap after so much time rolling around in the muck and seaweed contained in the giant belly. You see, we serve a gracious and merciful God that is willing to deliver us from the pit, but sometimes we forget that there are still physical consequences to our actions.
Jonah shed the muck and he arrived in Nineveh, a city so big that the Bible says it took “…three days to see it all.” (Jonah 3:3 NLT) Once there, he fulfilled his calling and he bravely delivered the word of God.
4 On the day Jonah entered the city, he shouted to the crowds: “Forty days from now Nineveh will be destroyed!”Jonah 3:4 NLT
After Jonah did his job and announced the forthcoming destruction of an entire city, the people of Nineveh heeded the word of God and turned from their ways. The Lord spared Nineveh, much to Jonah’s surprise. He was outraged, after everything he had been through, that God’s will wasn’t shaped the way Jonah felt that it should be.
“ 1 This change of plans greatly upset Jonah, and he became very angry. 2 So he complained to the LORD about it: “Didn’t I say before I left home that you would do this, LORD? That is why I ran away to Tarshish! I knew that you are a merciful and compassionate God, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. You are eager to turn back from destroying people. 3 Just kill me now, LORD! I’d rather be dead than alive if what I predicted will not happen.” Jonah 4:1-3 NLT
Sometimes I don’t understand why, after telling the Lord 18 months ago that He was going to need to rescue me, that I’m in this place in my life, single, with a job I’m not crazy about.
The truth is I found joy when I stopped trying to figure it out and I started to just thank God for being in control of my life, no matter what direction it heads.
and
The truth is, I don’t know which way my Nineveh is. I have an idea of what my passions and gifts are, but my calling is still very unclear, and that’s all okay.
If you find yourself fresh out of the muck, don’t convict yourself if there are still consequences that don’t immediately disappear even after you decide to trust God. His grace is sufficient and enough for you each and every day, despite any struggle or addiction you may still be overcoming.
*Photo credit: rich701
