Every time a guy didn’t like me back I felt like it was my fault. The way I dressed, my weight, or hair color. I would pick something, anything, to blame myself. I was good at chasing guys, but every time I stepped back to listen to God–I noticed none of them were chasing me back
I hated this fact! I hated how ugly I felt inside and how much I put my worth in my relationship status, or lack of one.
The older I got, the more I realized just how much God wanted me to face my insecurities. He wanted me to replace every lie with a truth. I even went as far as choosing “truth” as my New Year’s Resolution/Value. I spent a year intentionally trying to overcome the lies I believed and had been telling myself for the reasons why I was single.
I knew it was time I stopped feeling ashamed for being single.
It was time to stop blaming myself. I allowed God to replace each and every one of my insecurities with His truth.
Let me tell you–that year was so difficult. Every time I found myself saying, “it’s because I’m too this or too that” I had to ask God to forgive me. I’m so glad I took that year seriously because I’ve noticed that same pattern has come up again in newlywed married life.
As a single person, I thought my insecurities would finally disappear and melt at the sight of my prince. Wrong! In fact, they got worse. If it wasn’t for that year dedicated to beating out the truth in my head and heart, I don’t even want to think about how difficult marriage would be right now.
I suffer from a common human condition I like to call IDD–Insecurity Dysfunctional Disorder. We all suffer from it, in fact.
When you’re single it’s easy to point out flaws in yourself. Because after all, one plus one equals two. If you’re single, then it must be your fault, right? Wrong!
What is it about media and the world that says you have to be dating?
Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe it’s just some fatal flaw in my character that grew up watching Disney movies, desiring nothing more than to be in a relationship with my Prince Charming. When that day didn’t come for over a decade I knew I had to face myself.
I had to let God transform my thoughts. That’s where it starts–in the mind. Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
Today, choose not to see your IDD as permanent. Instead, give God your fears and look to Him for your worth.
You are worth sacrificing for.
You are worth loving.
You are worth the wait.
You are worthy (because you are His).
Renee Johnson Fisher is a spirited speaker and writer to twenty-somethings. She graduated from Biola University and worked with nationally known Christian speakers and writers at Outreach Events. She is the author of Faithbook of Jesus and Not Another Dating Book. With her trademark wit and enthusiasm Renee urges young adults to take a closer look at the way they relate to God and others, showing them that every relationship finds its perfect example in Christ. She and her husband Marc live in Escondido, CA where they hope to adopt a bigdog soon. Read Renee’s blog on relationships: www.devotionaldiva.com, and follow her on Twitter @devotionaldiva.
*Photo credit: UvaFragola