We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: Marriage is not the goal. It doesn’t matter how much pressure your mother or people at church put on you, you can still live a really awesome life and never marry.
We get it, though. You want to marry someone. We do, too. But we can’t let our desires take precedence over living a godly life. If you’ve been single long enough, it becomes easy to convince yourself that if the person believes in Jesus and occasionally attends church, then that’s enough. But what does it mean to have a Christ-centered relationship?
SingleRoots Writers Say…
For wise counsel, we asked some of our SingleRoots alumni writers to weigh in on the matter. Here’s what they had to say:
“When each person is spurring the other one to Jesus. Praying for each other and with each other. Sharing insights from devotions. And when sin occurs, as it always does in relationships, being honest and pointing each other to the truth of the Gospel.”
::Nicole McLernon, author of Choosing Not to Harden My Heart
“’Christ-centered’ is the key. Not ‘Christian.’ A lot of people get caught up in the rules and formula. If you are both focused on your walk with Jesus then He can stay in the center.”
::Justin Campbell, author of Am I the Best Me When I’m with My Family?
“If you find yourself hiding things from your friends or family, or if you think ‘They just don’t understand him/me/us,’ then those are big red flags about whether or not your relationship is Christ-centered.”
::Anna Beth Lee, author of Online Dating Experiment :: 3 Sites, 3 Months, 1 Person
“I think a simple thing to ask yourself is, ‘Let’s imagine for a moment that he/she is not my future spouse. Has our relationship been something he/she can talk about explicitly with his/her future Christian spouse in positive fashion?’ If both of you walk with the Lord, and can sit in church Sunday and think about everything you did together the week before as righteous and encouraging, without applying any ‘Well it’s okay because we’re getting married’ filters, you’re on the right track.”
::W. Brandon Howard, author of Upon One Month of Marriage: An Open Letter to the Guys
Explore the Topic Further…
For further discussion on Christ-centered relationships, check out these posts:
Dating vs. Courtship: It’s About Intent – “Almost every Christian dating resource you can find points out that there’s no explicit, Biblical instruction for dating or courtship. If only there was, the Christian bubble could be happy. But I have a thought why: It’s because if romantic relationships are about intent, then we already have all the instruction we need.”
The Bumps of Sliding Into Relationships – “Somewhere along the line, the pre-existing milestones of courting, dating, falling in love, engagement and marriage, have just sort of faded into a blur of watercolors. As they put it, the ways in which twenty-somethings engage relationships no longer has any ‘clear, universal progression.’ As it turns out, most couples report that their relationships just sort of ‘happened.'”
5 Spiritual Questions to Ask Your Online Match – “Instead of going in blindfolded, here are 5 spiritual questions to ask your date. They are a simple way to find out more about the person across the table and to avoid that awkward moment of not knowing what to talk about. Just make sure you don’t turn it into an interrogation!”
