On the first date we are presented with questions that ask about our future. Right from the start, prospective mates want to know if your vision will complement theirs. Common questions asked are:
Where do you see yourself in five years?
What are your professional goals?
What ministries do you see yourself becoming more involved in?
Previous to being single and satisfied, I was single and highly frustrated.
I had no vision. My daily aspirations were frantic about getting married. In other words, I only wanted to be a part of someone else’s vision. Being married is where I saw myself in five years. Becoming a parent was my professional goal, and I wanted my spouse and children to be my ministry. My so-called “vision” was narrow and unbalanced, which explains why I remained frustrated.
Five years came and went, and I was still single. Another five years passed and still there was not a need to attend the annual bridal show in town. (Although I admit, I went anyway.) Nevertheless, I sat myself down and had a long, deep discussion without allowing the topic of marriage to take the lead.
Did I have a vision for myself alone? Did I realize my purpose in life? God predestined my life before I was formed in my mother’s womb. Surely God has not allowed me to go on unmarried so I could sit and do nothing. What could I contribute to the world? How was I going to utilize the gifts and talents God had given me?
From that day forward I knew it was time that I sought God for my own vision. This was essential for me to do while I was single and could focus on God alone. I have heard stories about husbands and wives who married without first “finding themselves.” They became unsettled because soon after the marriage was established, they desired a vision that extended beyond their family but the time to make their vision first priority was not always there. That is not to say that it cannot be done; however, life after marriage becomes more complex.
Do we need a vision? Yes! Without a vision, we perish. I needed insight of God’s plan for me so I would no longer be wandering aimlessly through life with no sense of self. Not only did I need a vision for my life, but the purpose and vision God has for me would enhance the vision of my future spouse!
So where did I begin? My starting line was prayer. I talked with God more than I ever had before. As inspired direction came, I wrote my vision down. Continuing in prayer, God reassured me of His unconditional love. I felt secure enough in God’s love to power forward with His plan, even if marriage was not currently a part of it.
God took a cupful of my talents, added dashes of my interests and passions, and mixed it all in with a good helping of His divine will. Then, there I stood with a vision to call my own. I became so consumed with educating myself, making plans, and networking with wonderful people who shared my vision that frustration turned into satisfaction. My life was rewarding. My life mattered. I was making a difference.
When I went on the first date with the man who is my husband today, he was highly impressed with my enthusiasm and the life I was living. Establishing my vision was necessary to find fulfillment, walk in God’s plan to help others, and establish my place in this world.
The blessing of marriage and family would be the icing on the cake, not the whole cake. Thank God for vision.
Candra Evans is a native of Kentucky and currently resides in Cincinnati, Ohio. She began blogging and podcasting in 2008. In 2011 she launched her web site for Christian singles, Love and Grace. She is passionate about young people and serving the drama ministry as a playwright. Candra is also an avid runner and lover of the great outdoors. You can follow her on Twitter @candraevans.
*Photo credit: Natesh Ramasamy