Sarcasm is my love language. Bacon is my love language. Downton Abbey is my love language. Travel is my love language. Starbucks is my love language. Any others you want to add to the list?
Ever since Gary Chapman penned the book The 5 Love Languages in the 90’s it seems like it’s become an imperative to figure out what your “love language” is—both your real one and your humorous ones.
While everyone might not have actually read the book, the 5 Love Languages are easy to figure out from late night conversations with friends who have read the book because—and no disrespect to Mr. Chapman intended—it’s not exactly rocket science. However, the book itself has been a useful tool to help us understand how we both give and receive love. The terms, “quality time,” “words of affirmation,” “physical touch,” “acts of service,” or “gifts” make regular appearances in DTRs and even arguments.
Note: If you’ve never heard of The 5 Love Languages, and it seems like we’re speaking Greek or something, check out this useful online tool on the book’s site. You can answer questions and discover your love language(s). The tool is also helpful for those of us who think we know what our love languages are but have never read the book. There is also another online assessment on the site that might be worth your time, too. It measures your Apology Language. (Ouch.)
So, all of this Love Language stuff got us thinking…
When it comes to singles, it’s good to know what our love language is and how we are most prone to show love towards others, but is that it? Is that all we need to know? Because, well, if you’re single, it’s not like you’re on the receiving end of love, right?
This isn’t a promotional plug, but you could go read Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages: Singles Edition where he addresses how your marital status has nothing to do with your need to feel loved. You are loved. You receive love every day from your family, friends, church community, and others.
There are some days, of course, when loneliness creeps in and you might feel like nobody likes you, everyone hates you, and you guess you should go eat worms, but then you remember how Satan is a deceiver and the Truth prevails. (Thank goodness. We hear worms are disgusting.)
We talk a lot on SingleRoots about being intentional with your time while we’re single. We challenge ourselves to pour out our lives for others, to not sit and wallow in self-pity, to dig deeply into the Word and prayer and community. It’s been our mission from the beginning, and it will continue to be.
But we were also wondering how, as a single, the Lord meets your need for love from other people? Okay, so you’re not in a romantic relationship. But you still need to be reminded that you are loved, to hear it from people, and to have them show it to you.
What does this look like in your life, especially in regards to your primary love language?
How is the Lord providing people in your life who will share words of affirmation with you, who serve you, who spend quality time with you, who give you gifts, or who physically touch you? (Those last two might’ve been a bit awkward to write.)
But actually, those last two, if they’re your primary love languages, we’re especially curious about how that’s working out for you. Because we know that people probably aren’t lining up at your door to give you little gifts every day. And we also know that while physical touch doesn’t just mean intimacy, when you’re single, living alone, and not in a relationship, you could go days without having actual physical contact with another human being.
Yes, at the end of the day, we know that Christ is sufficient and He alone is more than enough for all of us. However, we also know He uses others in our lives to show us His love and remind us of it.
What is your Love Language? How are you seeing that need being met in your life apart from a romantic relationship?
Photo credit: dmshafi