“Intentionally single” is probably not something most singles are trying to be. I know this because when I was single, I wasn’t trying to remain single intentionally. I wanted to get married!
But in all my wanting and dreaming, marriage was not going to happen in my timing.
Some things in life you just can’t hurry up. They happen when they happen. Not a day early, not a day late—and woe unto us when we try to hurry things along.
Seeing that there was nothing I could do to instantly change my marital status, I knew that that I had to be awesome right where I was—in my singleness. God held the timings and seasons of my life. Through them all, He wanted me holding nothing back.
Mercifully, I had also realized that “life attracts life.” If I looked dead, beaten and needy that’s all I’d attract—and that kinda didn’t fit my description of what I wanted to take home to my mother.
When it comes to being awesome, you can’t nail it without some intentionality.
There were 3 things that defined my intentional single life:
1. Identity
I had to get this through my head: A guy wasn’t going to complete me. My single life was not preparation for marriage. Really, it’s not. God’s plan for our life is way bigger than that. Singleness was not a disease that I need to be cured of.
There was so many gems that I needed to understand. But I could not accept them, let alone understand them, if I had my identity in some place other than God. My roots had to be deep in God—mind, soul and spirit. No wriggle or stretch room. Nothing was going to redefine me. I was God’s and His opinion had to be final.
2. Vision
Where there is no revelation people cast off restraint, says Proverbs. As a single person, I needed to focus on something—otherwise the world was too large a place with too many options and choices.
I had to know, understand and begin pursing God’s purpose for my life. There are things you need to be doing before you get to the altar – the pursuit of purpose is one of them. Plus, there was no way I would find a man who dreamed my dream if I did not know what my dream was in the first place.
3. Service
So what is a girl to do with her independence and time? Serve, of course. Not everyone agreed. Some people believed that single seasons were all about “me,” but I reckoned that God was way smarter. He would not give me time and independence for my use only.
Plus I needed to be occupied. The walls in my house could get loud and my bed looked rather lonely. I didn’t like hugging pillows. I needed to find real people to touch and serve, to teach and mentor.
I needed a cause higher than myself.
What are other areas in which a single person can be intentional?
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About Ngina Otiende: A writer who loves helping others take charge of their lives, Ngina has a passion to see people reach their full potential through intentional living and relationships. She is married to her hero and they live in Maryland. You can check out her blog Intentional Today, find her on Facebook, and follow her on Twitter.
*Photo credit: slightly everything
